


Double Edge Sword

by LokiNeedsHugs1031



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Again there will be more tags, Alive Mary Winchester, Angel Castiel, Bisexual Dean, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean, Cas loves Dean, Castiel In Love, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel in the Bunker, Child Abuse, Crying Castiel, Crying Dean, Dean Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean is a Sweetheart, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s11e23 Alpha and Omega, Falling In Love, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Homophobic Language, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mary Ships It, Men Crying, Men of Letters Bunker, Mutual Masturbation, Past Abuse, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Mary Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Sam Ships It, Supportive Mary, Supportive Sam Winchester, Switching, Team Free Will, Top Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Dean, What am I doing, Wing Kink, Wingfic, Wings, cas with wings, will add more tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-13 14:14:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7979686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiNeedsHugs1031/pseuds/LokiNeedsHugs1031
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the end of Alpha and Omega, what if Amara didn't just deliver Mary, but John as well? Is this a good thing? Dean, also has to deal with the past abuse of his father, and isn't deterred by his feelings for his angel despite a long history of his father's anti-gay behavior. There are consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bitter Sweet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [angelofthequeers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelofthequeers/gifts).



> So I just finished up Season 11 with my sister (I have watched it before). Watched the finale and had this multi-chapter fluff bunny erupt, so here ya go, there will probably be like three chapters. Later on there will be wing!kink so therefore, this is for my best friend CrowleysMooseSquirrelsAngel who wrote some wink!kink just a few days ago, go check her stuff out!!! ;) I will redeem John I'm almost sure, but at first there will be homophobic language and child abuse, that is the only trigger! I hope ya'll enjoy let me know what you think! *note posting at 6 in the morning will fix SP problems*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if Amara delivered both of Dean and Sam’s parents to the boys? Dean finally admits his feelings to his angel, Mary accepts her sons no matter what and John, well John shows his wife his true colors. Note: once more, no British chick, just Sam and Cas dealing with the idea that Dean died

            Sam released an audible sigh, face in his hands, the hum of the electricity in the bunker somewhat deafening. He sniffed even louder, and it was only then that he finally heard the sharp whine of the chair next to him, and an arm around his shoulders. Cas pressed his forehead to Sam’s temple, murmuring reassurances that Sam couldn't quite let soak in, he merely kept his face hidden. Sam knew that he should be comforting the angel just as much as the angel was him, but he let himself grieve. He let Cas hold him like he never had before.

            When the sky righted itself, he had wanted to scream, and as he looked across the space of the bar parking lot, locking eyes with Cas he almost lost it right there and then. Because Cas’ eyes glazed over thickly with tears as they peered up at the beautiful sky.

            And then they were driving back to the bunker in silence, the growl of Baby was like a sob all in itself. Cas had followed him down the steel steps, closely so, telling him he was ‘there if he needed to talk’. And although it was endearing, he knew it was at Dean’s request. Last words from Dean to ‘take care of his little brother’ even though he was in his 30’s, far from needing that kind of care taking. Not that it wasn’t genuine, it simply made him miss Dean more. Made it more concrete that he was gone. For real this time. No coming back. Billie made that abundantly clear.

            The loud ominous creak of the bunker door filled the too silent room where Cas and Sam sat at the main table. Sam flinched violently, streaming eyes peering up at the ceiling, and instinctively he’s reaching for his gun, pointing the barrel at the entrance. Without even thinking he pushed Cas behind himself. He wasn’t sure why he did that. But Cas was all he had now and he would be damned, both literal and figuratively if he lost Cas right now. Last lifeline to his big brother. And he knew, knew for damn sure that the two men loved each other. He was sure Dean would have confessed if he hadn’t volunteered to become a human soul bomb. So it was all Sam could do, protect Cas, like Dean would have.

            His legs shook and he nearly fell to the floor when Dean’s sad, tired smile was the reason for the loud opening of the door. He probably wouldn’t have realized how badly he was shaking if Cas weren’t at his side holding him up.

            “Dean?!” he spat.

            “Heya Sammy,” Dean smiled in that way that was both elated and exhausted, “Cas…”

            “What happened?!” Sam was climbing the stairs, pulling his big brother to him, knocking him off his feet.

            “So I was not joking about the Dr. Phil thing, I got killer talking skills,” Dean chuckled against his little brother’s shoulder, given that his face was mashed there, “They made up and did a roto rooter on the soul bomb. Good as new.”

            Something new curled in Cas’ stomach as Dean looked across his brother’s shoulder right at the angel. He wetted his lips to speak, but couldn’t find the will.

            “Okay Sammy, let me get to the angel, looks like he’s fit to burst,” Dean laughed again, patting Sam firmly, crossing the space and gathering Cas close, holding him tightly, “Hey Cas…”

            The breathy and low voice brushed against Cas’ ear and he shivered and held just as tightly, “Hello Dean…” he croaked.

            “Miss me?” he near whispered.

            Cas’ throat was clogged with tears and he made some kind of sound that wasn’t exactly words, and he knew it was sarcasm recognized it immediately, but he nodded against the careful hold. He hadn’t spoken one word with his Father, hadn’t the chance or the will to be honest, but he was thanking him as he unconsciously ran both hands over the very alive, taut back of Dean Winchester.

            “Something else,” Dean said, pulling reluctantly away, “Amara obviously did something, or her and Chuck both…I don’t know but…I found…” he wetted his lips, locking eyes with Sam for a moment, “She must’ve seen pictures when she was perusing around here for evidence of Chuck…” he walked backwards away from the two men and opened the door once more.

            Sam thought, if just for a moment, he might faint as he came eye to eye with John and Mary Winchester.

            M-Mom…” Sam trembled, “D-Dad…”

            Their parents finally breached the doorway, John’s arm protectively around his wife, “Hi Sammy…long time huh?”

            “Sweetheart,” Mary murmured, tears already pouring down her cheeks.

            Sam’s throat worked convulsively, eyes going from one parent to the next, firstly he clutched at his mother. And he wasn’t sure how long he stayed in her embrace, her murmuring soft words and stroking her youngest’s back, before he dislodged and hugged his dad.

            It was emotional, crazy, warranted all the tests of silver and holy water and all that occurred with the resurrection of a Winchester. But here they were, a whole family once more, like it should have been before everything went to hell and back.

            They all sat at the table in the kitchen, Mary and John at each other’s side, Mary sipping coffee and a tumbler of whiskey for John. Sam was flush at his mother’s side chattering endlessly. Dean sat next to Cas, as they all spoke about the last few weeks, of what they had all endured. The long, much needed discussion that was the Men of Letters, how Henry never abandoned John and his family. How he had, more or less, saved their family and given them a home. John had gone utterly silent at that statement, and in true Winchester communication skills, merely grunted and closed shop on the topic.

            Dean discussed Cas before anything else, before bringing up the matter of the Darkness, the apocalypse, his time in Hell. But namely it was addressing the most painful for him, the last few weeks, months, a sickening blur where he wasn’t sure what would become of Cas who had been in the clutches of Lucifer, “He really went to bat for the greater good, shouldn’t have but did…tried his damndest, really is a Winchester don’t you think?” he tried for a laugh but failed, heart clenching.

            “What is he again?” John asked, deep voice gruff, lips on the whiskey glass sipping slowly.

            “Angel, he-he’s an angel Dad, I told you,” Dean replied, he glanced sideways at said angel, who was borderline glaring at his Dad, “He’s my best friend.” This, Dean noticed, cut Cas’ death glare away and his attention was solely on Dean. Dean wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing, but beneath the table, he rested a hand on Cas’ knee. And with sure conviction in his voice he said, “I’d do anything for him, just like Sam.”

            Once more Cas’ crystalline blue eyes grew wide, and somewhat desperate, “I would do anything for Dean, I already have.” he rested a hand over Dean’s, fingers loosely tangling, unseen to the rest of the table.

            John’s eyes went dark, “Is that so…”

            “John,” Mary scolded, eyes narrowed in warning, “What’s your problem exactly? He’s saved our sons countless times, when we weren’t here to do so. From Hell for Godsakes…”

            “Nothing,” and then he smiled humorously, “Long day huh? A lot to take in in one conversation.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Sam helped, along with Dean, set up a room for their parents. Arms full of blankets and pillows. After countless hugs on all parts, Sam gave Dean a push, “Dude, you’re asleep on your feet, go on I’ll get’em set up. Besides Dad seems pretty damn set in his ways of doing it himself, of course.”

            “You sure?” Dean asked, but his attention was on Cas.

            Sam smiled softly, knowingly, “Sure, I’m good, and we’ll talk tomorrow. God it’s almost 5 in the morning.”

            “Okay, sure,” Dean shrugged, “I am pretty tired, I’ll uh, set up a room for Cas, you take care of Mom and Dad.” he leaned sideways, catching Cas’ coat sleeve between two fingers, giving a gentle yank, “Cas, let’s get some more sheets.”

            Cas said nothing, merely followed Dean down the hallway. Dean dug around in the large two door linen closet, “You want two blankets or one? I know your batteries are low, so you get cold…’specially at night,” he trailed off. Cas was staring from the space he hadn’t moved from, a mere foot between them, “Cas? Hey, you okay?”

            Cas swallowed thickly, “N-No, I’m not…”

            Dean’s brow furrowed and he took Cas by the elbow, led him to a set of metal hampers and made him sit down, “What’s wrong? You sick?”

            Cas shook his head, eyes falling to the floor, “Dean…”

            “Hey,” he said again, moving into his space and took his chin in his hand without contemplating his actions, “What’s wrong?”

            “I thought you were dead,” Cas whimpered, he inhaled roughly, “You would have gone to a place I could not reach and I couldn’t…I can’t live with the thought…without…”

            “It’s okay, Cas, it’s okay,” Dean gathered him into his arms, his callused fingers were threading through the messy, dark locks, resting at the nape of his neck, “Shhh, I’m here, it’s alright.”

            “Is it? Is it okay?” Cas croaked into the crook of Dean’s neck.

            Slightly, ever so, Dean pulled Cas away to take his gaze, “Yeah, it’s okay, we’re okay, we’re both here, huh? Just another apocalypse we’ve survived, no big deal.”

            Cas sniffed harshly, tears tumbling and he nodded once more, he was breathless, and his lips were so close to Dean’s and he was sure that they were both eyeing each others' lips lips, “Dean I…want…”

            But he was interrupted when Dean entered his space and joined their lips, chaste at first, testing the waters. Cas whimpered in utter relief, and then Cas was tugging him roughly forward and Dean keened, low and soft in the back of his throat that was swiftly swallowed up by Castiel’s mouth.

            Dean fell into the kiss and parted his lips, beckoning Cas’ tongue in a kind of tango of dominance before brushing the roof of the angel’s mouth. It was velvety, warm, perfect. Dean groaned when Cas did, “So long, meant to do this,” Dean spat, cradling Cas’ face in both his hands, two thumbs caressing the short, dark hairs at his temple, securing their gazes, “Castiel, I’m so sorry, I should have done this years ago…but there were…things that made me stop…crap that wasn’t your fault and…” but he was silenced by Cas’ insistent mouth.

            “I know Dean,” Cas answered, moving away from his spit glistened mouth and carefully tracking kisses from the corner of his plump, wet lips, down his jaw, to the nape of his neck, “I know why you were reluctant,” he pulled back to lock blue eyes with green, “My vessel…I-I…”

            “No Cas,” Dean stopped him, “This isn’t my first rodeo with a dude…I just couldn’t…but you, sweetheart, you are way past gender, way past the notion of man, or woman, bi, gay…you’re just Castiel…Cas…my Cas.”

            Cas bit his own bottom lip as he traced Dean’s with his thumb, “Your gender never meant anything to me…only your soul. And it’s bright and beautiful…and pure, despite what you say.”

            Dean dove forward again, tears burning his vision, devouring Cas’ mouth. The nature of his world as of now was dizzying. His Mom alive, well, and whole. Alive. Her loving face something he thought long gone. And his dad…other thoughts should have followed, but his stomach sank, the first trill of nausea rising. Their mouths separated, Dean fell against Cas’ shoulder.

            “You’re exhausted,” Cas offered, even though, as he held the man in his arms, he felt tension, “Dean…”

            “Will you stay with me tonight? I mean…to sleep?” Dean gulped, fingers curling in the fabric of Cas’ coat.

            “Of course Dean, always,” Cas kissed his temple firmly, with purpose, eyes on the door, left ajar and Cas chose to ignore the sound of shuffling in the hallway. When he was sure the sound was gone, he ushered both of them into Dean’s bedroom. Dean, near dead on his feet, allowed Cas to undress him after he had shed his own layers. He moved in slow motion, fingers lingering along tepid flesh. Flannel shirt first, then his undershirt pulling it up and over his head, sneaking a kiss to the column of his throat. Finally with the untying of shoes, removing socks, and shimmying jeans down and over the bowlegs he loved so much, even then with Dean laid out on the bed he kissed both knees.  He was making hushing noises the entirety of the time, delivering soft chaste kisses to his cheeks, his lips. Dean, in his exhausted state accepted, and with each brush of lips, he sighed, he whimpered. Before long they were both lying in bed, and Cas, without asking, pulled the hunter to his chest and to his utter shock Dean did not protest. No, he snuggled in close, arm around Cas’ waist, one leg thrown around Cas’ legs and he sighed, loud and contented. Using his grace, as weak and tired as it was, he locked the door to the bedroom, and dimmed the lights.

            “Cas, I coulda done that,” he slurred, a sleepy breath escaping his lips.

            “Sleep now Dean, everything is fine.” Cas tugged the sheet and comforter up high around Dean’s waist, lips pressed into his short, blonde strands. That shuffling in the hallway had not been the signature steps of Sam, but Cas only wished to ‘clock out’ for a few hours and revel in the fact that the man he loved was in his arms.


	2. A Repeat Of The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is apprehensive about the public nature of their relationship, and John finds out. *warning for homophobic language*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got another chapter up for you guys! Things get pretty rough in this one, so like I said in the summary warning for homophobic language and violence. I've got at least another two chapters kind of planned out, not quite sure what I'm gonna do with John. But his nature is in the tags so if you don't like that don't read, cause I know how some people are about John. This is just ONE fic where I wanted to explore Dean's past. Tell me what ya'll think! Thanks so far for the reviews, kudos and bookmarks!!! *mwah!* New chapter should be up fairly soon!

_He was fifteen years old and already in his second high-school, thanks to the hunts, the constant moving. But here, this was the longest he and Sammy had attended a school, St. Joseph, Missouri. Not exactly small town, but big enough to blend in if needed. He’d even managed to make a couple of friends, one really good one as well, and to his relief Sammy had too. The last year had been rough, cold, dead leads on their mother’s killer. So it was slow regular hunts, vamps, werewolves, witches, ghosts. Dean hadn’t really opened up to anyone, always forced to lie about their lifestyles, his dad’s constant threats of ‘the government will take you away’. Which in some instances Dean was wondering how that would be a bad thing, but then he thought about Sam in a foster home and he shut his mouth._

_He exhaled roughly, leaning against the bleachers of the empty football field where he was currently sharing a beer with Matthew Steiner, dark haired, blue eyed, slight of build and just as enthusiastic about academics as Dean._

_“So what’s your old man pissed about today?” Matt asked, passing the bottle sideways, “I can tell something happened, you didn’t have that shiner yesterday.” He had his own issues with his Dad, but he never divulged too much. Just said quickly, nonchalantly ‘yeah, he smacks me around a little’ and Dean had only nodded, eyes on his hands that he was wringing bloodless._

_“When does he ever really need a reason? I do one thing wrong or another, and besides, he was drunk, that’s usually where the most of it comes from. Being drunk.” Dean sighed, they were partially hidden and the football team was done for the day. So it was just the two boys. Dean only stiffened slightly when Matt shimmied closer, elbows bumping._

_“That’s bullshit and you know it, doesn’t give’em the right to hit you just cause he’s having a ‘drunk day’”_

_“Yeah well, what am I gonna do about it, long as he leaves Sammy alone I’ll take the hits now and again.” Dean became hyper aware that Matthew was in his space._

_Matt situated himself in front of Dean, close to his face, “Don’t you have somewhere else to go? You and your brother? Your dad sounds nuts, you don’t deserve that, you’re a great brother and son and he doesn’t see that. Dean, God man, you’re just, you’re so…”_

_Dean gulped, staring into impossibly beautiful eyes, whoa, wait, what? No, he did not just think that. He didn’t. But his eyes were tracking Matt’s lips, the way his jaw clenched and unclenched as he spoke angrily about Dean’s situation. And then he wasn’t sure who crossed the space, wasn’t sure who initiated it but they were kissing. Matt had Dean pressed against the steel behind him, two hands clutching the lapels of his leather jacket. Dean knew he should be resisting, Dad’s angry words swirling in his mind but then the kiss deepened and he almost sank to the ground. Because someone wanted him and it was comforting, and for a moment he didn’t care that it wasn’t a soft, rounded body, but hard muscle and strength. That in itself was comforting. Strength. As if for once, safety was a reality._

_And then it was over and Dean wondered why, why it couldn’t last longer. He was given an answer before he even realized that they weren’t alone anymore. He was being yanked sideways and there was shouting, and he finally came face to face with his Father whose eyes were ablaze with rage and disgust._

_“What the fuck is this?!” John shouted and he shoved the other boy to the ground. He was on Dean in a second._

_“Sir, it’s not what it looks like,” Matt began helplessly._

_“You get out of here you disgusting little shit!” John pointed._

_“Matt go, please,” Dean spat, terror churning in his gut, “Just go!”_

_“But Dean,” Matt began to argue, his blue eyes blown wide as he scrambled off the ground._

_“Get your fucking ass out of here before I go straight to the principle and tell him what you two have been doing in your free time!” John growled._

_“Please,” Dean trembled, and he clenched his eyes closed because he knew John heard that. Knew it was both in longing and imploring, and he saw Matt hurry away and he knew that Matt wasn’t done. He was going to call the cops. And he knew John knew as well._

_John slammed Dean once more against the steel, “No fucking son of mine is gonna be a fairy faggot, you understand me?! Tell me that boy attacked you, that it was him, not you!”_

_“Sir I-I…” Dean scrambled for words, what could he say, it had felt good, felt right. Fuck, wrong reaction. One large fist met his face, and then again, and again._

_“Dad please!” he managed to scream as he was wrenched up once more from the ground where he’d almost fallen._

_“You are not a faggot, you cut out this sick bullshit or I will leave your ass here and take Sammy so far away you’ll never see him again, you understand me you little shit?!” John spat so violently, spit flew into Dean’s face._

_Dean flinched at that, just as harshly as the fists had flown, trying to gain his bearings and clear his vision. His chest clenched and he felt the tears close at the idea of losing Sam, “Yes, sir, yes I understand, please…”_

_“If I ever see you doing that again I’ll make sure you never see that boy. I don’t want him seeing that filth. And don’t you fucking cry,” he slammed his fist next to Dean’s head, enough to make the sound vibrate across the field and Dean yelped._

_“I-I’m not sir, I’m not,” he squeezed his eyes shut._

_“Get your shit,” he shoved him, toppling him to the green turf._

_Dean gathered up his backpack and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand, using the edge of his sleeve to remove the blood now flowing from his nose._

_When they’d made it back to the motel the lesson hadn’t ended, he wound up with a broken wrist and a concussion. He wasn’t sure if Dad had intended to go that far but the result was blessedly he and Sammy staying with Bobby for almost two weeks. And it began the one of many times that Bobby threatened to call child services._

~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Dean awoke with a violent start, sitting straight up in bed, chest heaving, and drenched in sweat. He flinched and nearly yelped when a hand pressed to his back, he huffed in relief when his eyes locked with Cas’, “Sorry…bad dream…”

            Cas kissed one bare shoulder, “That’s alright, I’m sorry I could not wake you sooner. I’m afraid I actually fell asleep.”

            Dean actually found himself scrambling to remember the night before, but then it came reeling back and he closed his eyes, slumping against Cas heavily. He felt Cas wrap his arms around him, holding him close to his chest, wiping the sweat from his forehead, “S’okay, just glad you’re here.” and he was, he couldn’t count how many times he awoke from dreams just like that, not of hell, not of demons or ghosts or whatever else went bump in the night. But the past. What he endured to stay alive simply within his family unit.

            Cas frowned against Dean’s temple. As he’d brought Dean out of the dream, he caught glimpses of its contents, John’s harsh words and fast fists. And his blood was boiling, “What did you dream?” he thought to ask aloud.

            “Just…shit, nothing, I don’t remember,” Dean mumbled, pushing Cas back to the bed so he could bury his face in the crook of the angel’s neck.

            Cas hummed in disapproval but left it alone, he knew Dean all too well and pushing would only close him off further, “Do you wish to sleep longer?”

            “What time is it?” Dean said, nuzzling against the flesh of Cas’ neck and he was filled with a warm feeling of safety that he’d forgotten existed.

            “Sometime after-noon,” Cas encompassed his arms around the hunter’s torso, his flesh still tepid and soft from sleep.

            Dean pushed up from Cas’ chest, eyes suddenly wide, “Noon? After noon?” he never slept this late, not even hung-over did he sleep this late. And then a whirlwind of questions assaulted him. Who would ask where he’d been all morning? Cas absent from the rest of the bunker, both of them absent at once. Dad would see? Dad would know? And what would Mom think of this? Did she think the same way he did?

            “Dean,” Cas interrupted his thoughts, taking his face in both hands, two thumbs brushing gently at the thin flesh beneath his eyes, over his freckled cheeks, “Look at me.”

            The trembling breath that Dean released startled even himself, “Cas…”

            “We don’t have to tell anyone right now, you’re only just getting use to this I do not want to further your distress. I know you are nervous about your Father being here,” he kissed him carefully on the mouth over and over and he could feel the anxiety began to drain with each touch, “Why don’t you exit your room first, go take a shower and I will wait some time and follow after and meet you in the living room. I would fly but I seem to still be weak from my ordeal.”

            “I’m not ashamed of us,” Dean added between tender kisses, eyes still closed as roll after roll of contentment washed over him.

            “I know that, you simply need a little more time, but I must say I’m pretty sure Sam already knows.” Cas offered a smile.

            Dean huffed a laugh, shoulders slumping, “Yeah, I got that too…I’m not worried about Sam.” there was relief there as well that his brother would support him no matter what.

            Cas thought to press further but decided against it, he only kissed Dean’s cheek again, lingering there with his lips resting to his flesh, “You better go, I’m finding it difficult to stop touching you.”

            Finally, Dean smiled, “I won’t argue with ya there, sweetheart.”

~~~~~~~~

            The new couple did as they planned, and soon he was sharing a smile from across the room with Cas who sat at the table with his Mom. She turned her head and smiled as well, “You get some sleep honey? Sammy says you hardly ever sleep more than four hours at a time, just like your dad huh? But here you are coming outta your room at noon like you used to when you were little on Sundays.”

            Dean gave a somewhat forced laugh, “Just way of the hunter’s game I guess. I was exhausted though, been pretty non-stop the last few weeks.” he slumped down in a chair next to Cas.

            “Castiel was telling me how you two met,” Mary was smiling easily, “Sounds like something out of a movie!”

            “Oh, yeah?” Dean swallowed nervously, and then he was recalling those first few moments in the barn and a new kind of trill ran through his body as he remembered the dull shadow of Cas’ wings splayed against the worn walls like painted lace, “Did you tell her how you almost blew my ear drums out?”

            “Dean, I have already explained that I was not aware that you were not one who could hear us truly speak.” Cas frowned.

            And then Dean did laugh genuinely, “Just giving you crap Cas, I know that. But what a helluva intro huh? First blowing out windows and then walking in all bad ass, blown ear drums were the least of my worries at the time.”

            “Blown ear drums?” John’s voice arrived, heavy with accusation.

            “Dad, hey,” Dean answered, “You and Mom get some sleep?”

            “You almost blew out my son’s hearing?”

            “A small mistake, but no, he was quite fine and _if_ I had done so I would have healed him,” Cas answered quickly, his voice lower, thicker with gravel than usual and eyes narrowed. He had never known John Winchester but the few stories that Dean told, some that sounded over glorified, were not to his liking. And he was highly troubled after the events of this morning and he felt the apprehension of progression in their affection towards one another from the night before. It hadn’t all just been exhaustion, “I, like some other beings, actually care for my charge, I would never have Dean come to any harm.”

            “It’s no big deal, it was a long time ago,” Dean piped up resting a firm hand to Cas’ shoulder and squeezing, turning his chair to face John, “We’ve been partners in crime a long time. Cas always means well, he’s right, I-I don’t know how many times he’s healed me,” he gave a soft chuckle, “How many concussions have I survived? Probably wouldn’t be walking around today if it weren’t for Cas. Sammy too…”

            “So together a long time,” John answered, bypassing the healing factor, “Interesting that I taught you not to trust these kinds of things and here you are in a long term relationship with somethin’ non-human. Doesn’t surprise me though…”

            “John,” Mary growled, eyes narrowed in both anger and confusion, “Cas is sweet, and has obviously been a life saver. He’s a big part of our son’s lives.”

            Cas pushed up from his chair as if he’d been fired from a gun, eyes blazing and plump lips pursed tight and Dean shot up with him, steadying him with both hands. Dean felt that the tension could be cut with a knife, something was wrong as angel and hunter stared one another down, “Hey Dad, did you get a chance to look around the garage, there are some beauties in there.”

            “No, I haven’t, why don’t you give me the tour,” John replied, eyes still on the angel, “You and I can have a talk.”

            Dean let go of Cas, giving him another pat before he and his Dad disappeared from the room.

            “Cas, you okay?” Sam was asking, just entering the room he hurried to Cas’ side whose fist were clenched tightly, face set like stone, “Cas?”

            “I’m quite fine,” he grumbled, slumping back in the chair.

            “What’s that all about, you’re not fine,” Sam frowned, “Where’s Dad and Dean?”

            “You brother wanted to show him the garage,” Mary offered, “Is your Dad always like this around Dean? So gruff?” she was slowly but surely realizing that this was not the man she had married and it had her heart palpitating painfully in her chest.

            Sam sighed, “Their relationship has always been strained…well, my relationship has been strained with him too. He isn’t the same as he used to be Mom, I hate to say it. But everything that happened and hunting and all that, warped him. We’re kind of his soldiers first and sons second. He’s toughest on Dean, always has been.”

            “Sammy, your dad hit you two?” Mary snapped.

            “Not me…” Sam was scrambling for words now.

            “Sam, why has Dean never discussed this with me?” Cas asked, anger still prevalent in his features.

            Sam looked from the pensive face of Cas to the concerned face of his Mom, “He doesn’t like talking about it. Dean was very secretive about it, Dad smacking him around when he’d had too much to drink. Dean always lied and said it was a hunt gone wrong.” he felt as if he’d purged too much, but he was honestly so tired of secrets, look how much it had done for them so far? There had been so many times Dean had returned from a hunt or hell, even school and he was bruised up.

            “Your father struck him? How long did this go on for?” Cas asked, face softening.

            Sam gave a small shrug of discomfort, “Never really stopped, not as bad, but ya know. They lose their tempers and well, it’s one of the reasons I felt guilty about leaving for college… Cas wait!”

            Cas was up and out of his chair once more and he could hear both Mary and Sam calling out for him as he headed towards the bunker’s garage.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Dean wasn’t sure he ever felt this nervous around his Dad. After Sam left for college they both fell into a routine that was simply ‘the hunt’ and nothing more. Getting personal with one another was never a good idea. That time behind the bleachers wasn’t the first time his Dad had caught him with another dude. There’d been one other time, where he thought the flirtatious route was the way to go to interrogate a potential witness, this witness just so happened to be a handsome, wealthy banker that apparently had no biases who he was attracted to. Lowly FBI agent or not. Dad had eyed him the entire time he put on a façade he’d managed to laugh it off later and say it was nothing, just the job. They got what they wanted, finding out he really knew nothing. It was afterwards, later that night at a bar that he bumped into the man again. One thing led to another and John had seen the man drop Dean off at the motel the next day. That had erupted into a physical confrontation, John thinking he had ‘cured’ Dean of that ailment and to stop ‘fucking around’. A long slur of homophobic name calling, a well-placed slap, and they didn’t speak for two weeks.

            “Nice spread don’t you think? Baby fits right in,” he patted the Impala’s hood.

            “Do you ever get a chance to wax this car? It looks awful,” he scanned the Chevy for any blemishes.

            “It’s been kind of rough the last couple weeks Dad, ya know, saving the world and all that usual crap,” Dean huffed, crossing his arms roughly across his chest, leaning against the tool table he’d just recently organized for easy car maintenance.

            “Oh, I don’t know, figured you were busy with other things equally useless you could wax the Chevy.” John countered.

            “And that would be? Haven’t had time to even get more than a couple hours of sleep…”

            “Certainly have had the time to shack up with monsters,” he snapped, rounding the car slowly.

            “Excuse me?!” Dean near shouted.

            “You’re fucking that thing in there aren’t you!” John’s voice steadily rose, “I saw you two last night! How long?!”

            “Are we seriously doing this?! You come back from the dead and you’re still worried I might be fucking a guy?! Which isn’t the case by the way!”

            “I see how you look at him son, that same doe eyed look you’d wear when you were younger, it ain’t just kisses and long stares. I thought you put this behind you, I knew if I weren’t around you’d go and start fucking men again.”

            Dean’s face turned three shades of red, and as flustered as he was he managed, “It-It’s not like that it never was! God, you dumb, narrow minded bastard, even after your time in hell…” he was cut off when John had him up by the collar of his shirt, bodily pulling him forward and slamming him into the garage wall. He yelped when the back of his head smacked unceremoniously against the cement wall.

            “I told you once before I won’t put up with this, not then and not now!”

            “Goddamnitt Dad I’m nearly 40 years old! I can make my own decisions and I sure as hell don’t need your approval of who I sleep with!” Dean spat, despite the dizzying pulse in his head, “Cas and I are none of your business!”

            “How dare you speak to me like that, you will show me respect!”

            “Dad,” Dean started but was silenced by an all too familiar slap. Dean had been bit, cut, stabbed, tortured, and pulled apart. But the blow from his Dad was the only kind of physical pain that brought immediate tears to his eyes. Now was no different.

            “So, almost 40 and here you are about to cry like a little girl,” John tutted, “You’ve gotten even softer with me gone.” he wasn’t even aware of his wife calling his name, her voice low and threatening. Before he had another chance to continue rage-filled rant he was flying backwards, as in literally flying through the air before smartly slammed against a similarly hard wall. Thing was he couldn’t breathe, an invisible hand around his throat, and his feet were dangling far from the ground.

            Dean slid to the floor, eyes wide in shock as he held a palm to his swelling cheek, “Cas…”

            “Did you doubt my words earlier?!” Castiel growled, raising the elder Winchester higher.

            “I can’t believe you John, you stupid son of a bitch!” Mary was crying, and was now kneeling in front of her oldest, removing his hand to survey the damage, “Sweetie, let me look.”

            “I’m fine mom,” he croaked, swallowing roughly to maintain control.

            Cas was blind with anger, he had felt the pain through their bond like a ripple. Dean had survived so much and for this man to be able to devastate his self-esteem with one quick punch and words of hate, it was dizzying how angry Cas felt.

            “Call this thing off!” John managed to squeak.

            “Cas!” Sam was yelling now too and he moved forward, placing a tentative hand on Cas’ shoulder, “Cas, come on man, put him down I know you’re pissed, I am too! But you’re gonna kill’em!”

            “The horrible things you call him! He is neither weak nor a failure, he is flawed yes, but he is human and he is mine!” Cas increased the pressure around his throat to emphasize his point, and John gagged, “He is good and strong, beautiful and kind, nothing like yourself! He learned that on his own, not you! Something you should take note of, he learned kindness through the actions of others,” he lowered the man so they were now at eye level, “You harm him again, lay one finger and I will annihilate you, disintegrate you into the cosmos, are we understood?!”

            John gagged once more and Cas took that as confirmation and let him slump to the floor in a coughing heap. Cas backed away, breathing ragged as his anger dissipated, he moved to Dean’s side where he sat with his Mother, face in his hands knees drawn up to his chest. Cas lowered himself to his knees and pulled at Dean’s hands, “Dean, look at me.”

            “Get me outta here, please,” Dean hardly whispered, “Please Cas, j-just... let’s go…”

            Unable to get his hands fully away from his face didn’t hide the fact from the angel that tears were making fast pace down his face, “Of course,” Cas replied softly, garnering every bit of grace he had and wrapped arms around his human. He focused on Dean’s bedroom, and they were gone.

            “W-What was that?” Mary startled away from the now empty spot.

            “Cas can fly, like I told you, he’s an angel, part of the package,” Sam answered sharply, eyes on his Dad, he towered over him in height, had since he turned 18, “You need to leave. I don’t know where and I don’t care about that either. All Dean has ever done is strived for your approval, he’s found someone that makes him happy and I’ll be damned if you fuck that up.”

            John was rubbing at his throat, only now just catching his breath, “Mary, you gotta be with me on this, it’s wrong! It’s not just the fact that he’s a fucking dude, it’s a monster!”

            “No, I’m not with you on this, you hit…our son, and you have been since I left. You failed John, you were supposed to take care of our boys. I-I can’t even look at you…” and Mary was gone as well.

            “It’s not like it was before Dad, we don’t follow orders anymore. Just because you’re back in the picture does _not_ mean things resume.” Sam’s fist clenched at the thought of overhearing what John had spat in Dean’s face, “Why are you here anyway…” and he followed his mother out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review!!! *gives puppy eyes*


	3. A Calculation of Self-Worth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Mary both try to tell Dean, it's not his fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have for real NEVER written a fic where I get a chapter out a day, this one is just praise/fluff/ love I thought I needed some of that before I delve into the next chapter. But OMG guys I thank you for all the lovely reviews! I've never written a multi-chapter SPN fic that actually has a plot like this, but I'm loving it! Angst galore is coming up next chapter and then sexiness soon! :D Because Cas is nothing but determined ;) Love you guys, ya'll rock! Thank you for the reviews, kudos, and bookmarks!

Cas relocated them onto the bed, and for the longest time Dean said nothing. Only huffed soft, and strained breaths into Cas’ shoulder as he clung painfully. Cas had the notion that he couldn’t speak right now, if his ragged broken breaths were any testament at all. He wasn’t sure what else to do at this point but to simply hold him, so that was what he did, ever so often turning his head to kiss below Dean’s ear, one hand rubbing his back and the other threading through his hair. That little bit of flight had drained him, but he had just enough to heal the bump on the back of Dean’s head, and the welt on his cheek. If Dean noticed, he didn’t say anything.

            “Sammy say something to you?” Dean finally croaked, voice brittle, snuffling loudly.

            “Some yes, but I have noticed the tension from the start, and I felt your fear through our bond. I did not need him to say something. I would have to be an idiot not to see that he causes you grief.”

            Dean leaned back, scrubbing at his face as he felt his control dwindle and wane, “Cas, I’m not sure how to…deal with this. What if Mom thinks…”

            “Stop,” Cas said, pressing a thumb firmly to Dean’s lips, admiring the way his mouth seemed to lean into the touch, “She doesn’t. She does not approve of any of your Father’s actions. She loves you…”

            Dean’s brow buckled, he pursed his mouth, eyes clenching once more and fresh tears escaped like river lines down his cheeks, “Cas, I’m so sorry that I let it all get this far, that what he said…made it…made me…take this long to admit things to you. I’m so sorry, you deserve so much more,” he hated the violent sob that erupted from his throat, as the last hour of events took hold. He couldn’t remember the last time he lost it like this, he was always taught to bottle it up. ‘Don’t you fucking cry’ was like a family motto. And for once he wasn’t dealing with them in private, his hurt, his grief, everything was out in the open for Sam to see, for his Mom to see and now Cas. Most importantly Cas, he deserved it more than anyone. To confess things, he hadn’t thought to confront in years. He’d buried them even deeper as soon as his Dad was dead. No point in talking about them right? His resentment, his anger, and the fact that he was so closeted he hadn’t ever truly connected with another human being. But now he knew that was wrong. Even after all these years, dead or not, his dad’s words impacted him, kept him from Cas. His next breath was staccato like, an action that made him feel like a little kid that had been frightened to death and finally comforted, “I’ve loved you…for a long time…a long stupid time…I…fuck…I love you so much.”

            Cas did what seemed to be the best treatment, kissing him silent, wordless, “I love you too, surely you’ve known this, even before you were willing to accept it. But none of that matters now, all that matters is that you and I are together now. I love you Dean Winchester and nothing, and I mean nothing of any power will keep me from doing so.”

            It was the last, beautiful straw and Dean couldn’t hold it back, it flowed over him in wave after wave of ‘let go, let go’ and he sobbed into Cas’ shoulder. They were loud, messy cries he wasn’t use to. In turn Cas gathered him up in his embrace, pulling him into his lap as they both rested against the headboard of his bed. Hell, he’d known that his sexuality wasn’t ‘the norm’ since he was 13. Years upon years of denying it and for a moment he thought he couldn’t breathe. And it wasn’t even that, it was that he found Cas, and Cas accepted him and loved him. Fucking loved him.

            Dean knew that later, perhaps days from now, he would blame it on the insanity that his life now was, but for now he just accepted it. Openly fell into Cas’ arms, without apprehension, without thought or question. So they simply laid in his bed as his cries dwindled, not sleeping, just breathing in each other’s air. Dean was only slightly aware of the soft humming vibrating from Cas’ chest, what that song was he had no idea, wasn’t even English, but it steadied his breathing promptly. Cas had never been tender like this and Dean wanted it, swallowed it up like the perfect pill.

            Cas could sense Dean dozing as he calmed, his fingers uncurling from the t-shirt Cas was wearing. That’s when he heard the light knock, he half expected for Dean to jolt up from the bed, push him away all flustered but he lay still, turning his head so his cheek was more or less resting against Cas’ stomach and simply called out, “Yeah?”

            “It’s me sweetie,” he heard Mary through the closed door.

            Dean gulped, his chest hiccupping against his will and said ‘come in’

            Mary opened the door, closing it behind her and carefully made her way to the bed and sat down on the side near Dean, “Baby, I’m so sorry about all of that…”

            “Why,” Dean cleared his throat, moving marginally away from Cas, feeling embarrassed at the obvious puffy and red nature of his eyes, “You didn’t say those things, you didn’t…” he stopped, he knew how horrifying it must have been, to see the love of her life beating the crap out of her kid. He wasn’t gonna give a re-narration of it.

            “Doesn’t matter, I’m still sorry it happened. I'm sorry that I wasn’t around to keep it from happening.”

            “What were you gonna do Mom? What he became…wasn’t your fault,” he ran both hands over his face, and then through his mussed hair only then noticing his head was no longer throbbing, he turned to Cas and gave a small knowing smile.

            Mary sighed in resignation, “Sammy told him to get out, and I think for now that’s a good idea.”

            Dean nodded, eyes down at his hands, “I’m sorry…”

            “Sweetie, why are you sorry?” she moved closer and took one of his hands that he was wringing bloodless.

            “Cause of me, you and Dad are separated again, that’s on me,” he started.

            “Hey,” she snapped, and she took his chin firmly in her hand, “You think this bothers me?” she tilted her head towards Cas, “Well it doesn’t, your Dad doesn’t understand this, or he’s afraid of it, that’s all. But I do understand, I know you love Castiel, you’d have to be blind not to see it. I’m gonna tell you something and I’m gonna only say it once, so you better be listening, both of you.”

            When the two men nodded on silently, Mary took a breath, “You don’t ever let anyone get in the way of you being happy when it comes to someone you love. Your Dad and I? It wouldn’t matter if neither one of us approved, you go after what you want. I may not be an expert on the subject, but I know you’re a lot like John, so how long have you been punishing yourself for these feelings and keeping them bottled up?”

            Dean’s eyes cut to Cas and then fell back to his mother, “Too long, I-I just couldn’t move past it I guess.”

            “Well, now you better push the whole damn way, I won’t see my boys unhappy. That’s my responsibility, I’m gonna talk to your Dad. I need to know why, because he…like Sammy said he’s different but he wasn’t always this way, violent I mean. I don’t want you worrying about it, I’m gonna figure this out, got it?” she used her firmest tenor and Dean nodded without thought, she rested a palm to his cheek and then one to Cas’ which garnered her a startled expression from the angel, alien blue eyes gone wide, “Got it?” she said once more, and in unison they said ‘yes’, “You take care of him Castiel, I’m gonna go talk to Sammy.” she leaned forward and kissed Dean’s forehead and then she was gone. For a few moments the room was silent, only the hum of the heat above them.

            “And take care of you I shall,” Cas whispered somberly, replacing Mary’s hand with his own and as he caressed his cheek, Dean closed his eyes, “I will convince you that you are worthy of love if it is the last thing I do.” Gently he pressed him to the bed, situating him comfortably and kissed him tenderly on the lips, “You are beautiful, Dean Winchester, so loving, so giving, so brave,” he kissed one corner of his jaw and then the other, he kept his weight light against the human’s chest, not wanting to spook him. He knew damn well that it would take time until they escalated anything beyond this kind of affection.

            “Cas,” Dean whimpered, “Don’t…”

            “Why,” Cas murmured against the pulse point of his throat, nosing just enough to erupt goosebumps over his freckled skin, “It’s been too long coming that someone should say such things, look at me,” he boxed his arms around Dean’s head, both hands caressing through his dark blonde hair, when Dean finally locked eyes Cas gave a sad smile, “You must believe your mother, you must believe me, you are utterly selfless when it comes to your family, to Sam. You would do anything, you have done everything, even if it denied you true happiness.”

            “Cas, I know,” Dean wanted to cry all over again, his eyes furiously filling up and burning once more, “I-I’m sorry I didn’t…”

            “Shhhh,” Cas shook his head, taking his bottom lip between his teeth, halting any objections, “We have already discussed this, we are here now, and with everything that has happened between us. I still speak truth, my beautiful human, one who always fights for what’s right, no matter the consequences. You think I do not notice when you mourn those you fail? The ones you lose?” he trailed kisses, like making points on a map, dotting from his forehead, his temples, over the thin flesh of his eye-lids. There he lingered and he felt Dean’s chest convulse with fresh tears, “I know, I hear, I feel, it is our bond Dean, you can hide very little from me.”

            “I know,” Dean shuddered, as Cas returned to his throat, of which he was sure he could feel his heart damn near beating out of his chest.

            “We are not going any further than kisses, I have assured you we will go at your pace, when the time comes I will ravage you,” Cas murmured close to his ear and he felt Dean shudder from head to toe in all the right ways, “But that will not deny me the need to assure your worth, my love for you, and I know too well you accept such feeling with touch better than words and that I will not deny you either.”

            Dean growled low in his throat, trying to kill another damn whimper vibrating in his throat, “Cas, I love you,” and from there on out he allowed Cas his indulgence as his angel kissed every inch of him, nothing sexual, just adoration. Cas pulled his t-shirt away and painted kisses from his throat, down his chest to his heaving belly, nuzzling the jut of his hip bones, all punctuated with ‘perfection’, ‘so beautiful’ and ‘I love yous’. And if he were crying all over again by the time Cas had littered his body with a hickey here and risen flesh there that matched the shape of his mouth, Cas said nothing of it.


	4. A Breaking Of Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean confesses to Sam, and all three men more or less bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I did not expect such a positive response to this idea that just FLEW into my head one night!!! Thank you all so much for the reviews, kudos and bookmarks!!! :D I really don't know how long this will be I keep getting ideas!!! I hope you all enjoy this angst/fluff fest!!!! Love!!! *throws cookies*! It's after midnight but I got this finished JUST for Supernatural Day!!! so HAPPY SUPERNATURAL DAY!!!! Much love!!!

Dean woke up with his head pounding slightly, not from being hit, but from the unending tears. He sniffed roughly, unconsciously his hands grappling for the body beside him of which he found locked to his side.

            “Dean,” Cas’ deep voice broke the silence, lips on his brow, “How are you feeling?”

            “Swollen,” Dean croaked and cleared his throat, in fact, he hadn’t felt like this since his first day of kindergarten where he refused to let go of his Dad’s leg crying for his Mom. The memory made him cringe. He shook it away and buried his face against Cas’ chest.

            “You aren’t still hurting…” Cas began, but then realized Dean discomfort was from his outburst.

            “M’okay Cas,” Dean sighed, he knew he’d slept far longer than his body was used to.

            “You need to eat,” Cas said, obliging his mate’s aggressive cuddling skills, “Dean,” he added just the hint of scolding, “You need to eat, it’s nearly 9 in the evening and you have not had a meal.”

            “I’m fine Cas,” Dean inhaled deeply the scent of his angel and he found himself wrapping around the offered torso and stocky legs.

            “Dean,” Cas said again, more firmly, “You are going to eat, you will not survive on alcohol and sleep alone.”

            “Warm,” Dean sighed dramatically with just slightest hint of a smile as he held Cas hostage, even tugging the blanket high over both their heads.

            “Do you wish me to retaliate?” Cas countered, smiling as soon as he caught the smirk on Dean’s face.

            “You won’t,” Dean answered sluggishly, face neatly buried in Cas’ neck.

            “Oh yeah?” Cas grinned, “You are aware of how well I know you, right? I put you back together, piece by piece.”

            “Sure,” Dean sighed, it being obvious that he was not moving.

            “I know you very well and now you will suffer the consequences,” Cas smirked, digging his thumbs into the hips of the man beneath him.

            Dean squawked squirming violently, trying to get a hold of the angel’s wrists, “Cas! Fuck!”

            “Does that mean we are in agreement, that you need to eat?” Cas prodded, wiggling his fingers with emphasis.

            “Yes!” Dean yelped without thought and then his wrists were hoisted above his head and lips were on his. For a moment Dean indulged, but then he was growling, “You’re lucky you’re so cute or I’d be beatin’ the crap out of you.”

            Cas frowned, “I’m not cute.”

            “Oh yes, you are,” Dean countered, with a wink.

            “For being so exhausted, you’re certainly one to act like a smart ass,” Cas said, with a roll of his eyes but leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

            “I’m your smart ass though,” Dean answered, nuzzling further.

            “That may be, I’ll go get you something to eat, you stay in bed,” Cas offered.

            “Cas, you don’t need to do that, I can walk,” but Dean couldn’t even protest and the angel was gone, “Cas, damnitt…” he knew that Cas was also on low batteries, he was using up grace for meaningless tasks.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

            “Gah!” Sam jumped at least two feet, his attention raptly on the stove in front of him, “Cas, don’t do that!”

            “My apologies, my trajectory is a bit off, I’m still recovering,” Cas answered, swaying slightly.

            “Whoa, you okay?” Sam asked, taking Cas by both forearms.

            “A little dizzy, that’s all.”

            “Come on, sit down, why are you zapping around if you’re not feeling 100%?!” Sam scolded as he led him to the kitchen’s bar/table.

            “I wanted to speak with you.”

            Of course Sam already knew what it was about, his Mom had left the bedroom, looking both upset and determined, “Is Dean still sleeping? Is he okay?”

            “He’s resting, I told him I would get him something to eat given that it’s late in the evening. But I wanted to talk to you first.” Cas hurriedly explained, “He’s as alright as Dean ever is…”

            “What did he say?” Sam asked.

            “I do not want to betray his confidence. I would never do that,” Cas sighed, “You are well aware of how your brother views himself. Always self-loathing, he even blames the hindering of our relationship on himself. Even though we both know well that there were other circumstances involved. Namely on how he was raised.”

            Sam nodded with a sad sigh, “I think I know what you mean. Dean was always protecting me, not just my physical well-being, but he’s always had this sick notion to protect me from the idea of who Dad really was. The thing is, I already knew how Dad was. Dean still treats me like the baby brother. I appreciate that, I really do, but it gets him hurt more often than not. You know that. I’ve always known about Dean’s sexuality, even though he would deny it. I’ve caught the tail end of arguments, sometimes beatings. I never did anything…I guess at the time I thought it would make it worse.”

            “I do believe the problem here is that no one has directly blamed your Father for his actions. You two are always taking the blame and that is wrong. I will allow this no longer.” Cas stated firmly, he tilted his head slightly so Sam would make eye contact, “With either of you.”

            Sam took a deep breath as his eyes began to burn and then pulled Cas roughly into a tight hug, “I’m really happy that you two finally fessed up to each other. You’re like a brother to me Cas…have been for a long time and I shoulda said it.”

            Cas returned the embrace, it was awkward at best given their heights, but he found himself rubbing Sam’s back like he’d done Dean’s, “I know,” he answered, “But it’s nice to hear it out loud.”

            “You’re the best thing for him,” Sam swallowed roughly, “For this family, I hope you know that, we love you.”

            Cas closed his eyes, continuing to pat Sam’s back, “I love you too Sam.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Dean’s felt himself succumbing to sleep once more when there was a knock on his door, he smiled, shaking his head as he jumped up from the bed, “Not so smart there, are ya quick draw,” he opened the door and there was Sammy, “Uh, hey, sorry, thought you were…never mind.”

            “Yeah, he’s getting you something to eat. I thought we’d talk first.” Sam said, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

            “S-sure,” Dean said, “Come on in, whatta ya wanna talk about?”

            “Dean,” Sam began in a softly scolding tone, “You know what I wanna talk about. Everything that happened this afternoon…it’s fucked up, right? Even you can see that.”

            Dean plopped himself back down on his bed, blowing a breath from his mouth, “Yeah, it’s fucked up. But ya know, nothin’ I’m not used to.”

            “That, that right there, how complacent you are about it, and you shouldn’t be. You should be getting mad, throwing shit, God, you deserve to have a fucking fit!” Sam argued, arms up in the air, rage rippling in his gut.

            “What’s it gonna do Sammy? Change the past? No, it’s not, doesn’t mean I’m gonna put up with it now, but doesn’t change the fact that it all happened.”

            “I wanna know why you didn’t tell me about the abuse, I mean I knew it was there. I’m not an idiot, but not that bad! Why didn’t you tell me?! Even after he died?!”

            “Cause I already pulled you back into hell Sam, I ruined your life! Your childhood was fucked up enough, and Dad treated you differently. Respectfully, fuck he loved you, I wasn’t gonna sully that. After Jess died, finding Dad gave you something to fight for. Gave you focus, what am I gonna do, wait till the dude dies, sacrifices himself for me, and then tell you he beat the crap out of me because he caught me kissing a guy? That he humiliated me in front of the one person that really knew about me back in those days?! He said I’d never see you again! He'd take you away and I couldn’t say anything then, he said I was sick, it would make you sick too! So what’s it gonna do?! Nothing! Just hurt you more and make you hate’em more, and I couldn’t do it Sam, I couldn’t do that to you!”

            Dean hadn’t realized he was yelling until Sam’s long arms were around him and pulling him close to his broad chest. He didn’t realize he had started fucking crying all over again. And the angry realization had him fighting his brother’s embrace, but Sam wasn’t having that and he held tight, emphasizing his stubbornness on the issue by pressing a gentle but firm palm to the back of his head. Then Dean just slumped, too exhausted to keep up the fight that no longer needed fighting.

            “It’s okay Dean, it’s okay,” Sam murmured, horrified, stomach dropping with the sound of his cries, he wasn’t sure if he could ever remember his brother falling apart like this. A few tears, slight tremble of his lips, but not this. Goddamnitt, his Dad had threatened Dean with taking him away from his big brother? It was a new level of fucked up, “I know why you did it, you didn’t have to, but I know why. It’s okay.”

            “In the garage,” Dean croaked after a long bout of silence, face buried in Sam’s shoulder, voice muffled, “That’s how he really thinks of me…and I ain’t gonna lie that it doesn’t still hurt.”

            “Dean,” Sam said, finally pulling away, and he felt his heart damn near sink when Dean flinched, just in the slightest, “You know I don’t think any of those things right? Please tell me that much…”

            “Of course I don’t,” Dean gave a nervous upwards glance, scrubbing viciously at his face, “I-I know you don’t.”

            “Then why didn’t you ever tell me about these…feelings…it’s not like I didn’t have some kind of idea that you had those…feelings…”

            Dean gave a low, watery chuckle, “You can’t even say it out loud.”

            Adorning his best bitch face and rolling his eyes he huffed loudly, “Fine, gay feelings, bi feelings, whatever, CAS feelings. I’m trying not to make you uncomfortable, you kept this under wraps since you were what, 13 or 14? You never brought it up once, was it just because of Dad?”

            In perfect ‘Dean’ fashion he shrugged, eyes down at his lap again, “Mostly, yeah, probably…but that’s stupid right? I mean after he died I should have been clambering out of the closet. I mean, and look what I’ve done to Cas, I’ve…I’ve liked him a long time Sammy. Actually…I kinda love him.”

            “Well, no shit Sherlock, I have eyes ya know.” Sam managed a smile, nudging his brother with his shoulder, garnering him at least a smirk, “And all that denial wasn’t really your fault, you were just acting on a lifelong instinct. So what if it took a couple apocalypses for you to pull your head outta your ass. You did it and that’s all that matters. Cas is happy, as in really happy. He’s in there cooking for you, has he ever cooked before?”

            Dean inhaled shakily, “I guess we should go in there before he burns the place down,”

            Sam was truly smiling now, “All in the name of love though, right?”

            “Shut your face.” he spat, shoving Sam nearly off the bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            By the time the brothers made it into the kitchen Cas was still fiddling with the stove, he caught sight of Dean and tried not to ask for the hundredth time if he were alright. Because his face was red and puffy like it had been earlier this afternoon, instead he simply asked, “I don’t understand why there isn’t any heat coming from the coils.”

            Sam laughed at Cas’ increasingly flustered state, “It’s a gas stove Cas, you gotta light it. Don’t mean to be a downer or anything, but do you know how to cook?”

            Cas blushed, “I am aware of how to cook breakfast foods, that is only from observation on the television.”

            Sam patted Cas on the back and gave him a little push in Dean’s direction, “I got this go sit down, you two want a beer?”

            “I’m gonna need more than one, then maybe something stronger,” Dean answered.

            “I’m sorry Dean, I really did want to cook for you,” Cas frowned.

            Dean only smiled, reaching forward and cupping Cas’ jaw, “It’s okay Cas, I’ll show ya how sometime.”

            “We got stuff for burgers, except cheese, but everything else we got, sound good?” Sam said, surveying the fridge.

            “Burgers sound great Sammy,” Dean replied tiredly.

            “I could acquire cheese if you’d like, I would only be a moment,” Cas started to say before both arms were around his waist, firmly so.

            “Hold it there angel boy, no more flying around today. You’re gonna run yourself down to zero. I hate it when you get wrung out like that.” Dean shook his head, “Regular burgers are fine.”

            Cas nodded and smiled, toothy and bright, not only with the fact that Dean was vocally concerned, but also that he was being openly affectionate with Sam only a few feet away from them. With all the wars he’d won and everything he had actually succeeded in overcoming, this, in this moment was his greatest accomplishment.

            Given that Cas was indeed ‘low on batteries’ he ate with fervor along with Sam and Dean. Dean sat close to him at the table, their hips seemingly connected. Dean took a deep swig of beer before bringing the subject up once more, “Hey Sammy, where’s Mom?”

            “She said she was going out for a while, she’d be back later. That’s all she said, I tried to argue with her but she was pretty damn insistent. Took one of the cars from the garage. She told me not to worry,” Sam shrugged, he wasn’t about to treat his mother like an invalid simply because she’d been out the tech loop since the 80’s.

            The corner of Dean’s mouth went up, he wanted to argue as well but he was just too damn tired, “You two up for a movie, I’m not ready to turn in yet.”

            “You guys go pick something out, I’ll clean up in here.”

            “Are you sure Sam, you cooked I could…” Cas stood up.

            “Cas, no, go on,” he shooed with his hands, a smirk on his lips.

            “Come on Cas, I’ll fix us a drink,” Dean took the angel’s hand and drug him towards the living room.

            Cas allowed himself to be led, probably easier since the warm pressure of Dean’s palm was pressed to his, “What would you like to watch Dean?”

            Dean filled two crystal tumblers with the rich amber liquid, handing one glass to Cas, “Oh yeah, I keep forgetting you know how Netflix works, well what haven’t you watched? I know you binged there for a while,” as soon as the joke left his lips he felt sick, thinking back on those days leading up to the possession. Cas’ Netflix binging was a not so quiet way of screaming for help, “Sorry Cas, I wasn’t thinking…” he was interrupted with a kiss.

            “No more apologies tonight Dean.”

            “Yeah but Cas, I am sorry about all that…I’m such an asshole…” again he was cut off by that wet, plump mouth. He had a quick but powerful thought, how in the hell had he ever lived without this? Eager mouth, open ear, and loved so fiercely it was like an electrical hum.

            “Need I get rough?” Cas may have growled, “Now choose a film.”

            “You ever seen The Breakfast Club?” he may or may not have shivered, Cas’ hand still gripping his hips.

            “No I have not,” Cas softened, kissing Dean’s lips once more.

            They both sat on the long couch catty-corner to the two recliners, “You want us to hit pause?” Dean shouted towards the kitchen.

            “Have at it I’m almost done!” Sam called back.

            Dean settled close to Cas, it was only about ten minutes into the movie that Dean was leaning his head to Cas’ shoulder. “Would you prefer to lie down?”

            “Nah, I’m okay,” Dean grumbled, straightening up for a moment, knocking back the rest of the whiskey.

            “Dean, lie down, I don’t mind,” Cas pulled at his torso, urging him to rest his head on the pillow in his lap, without further argument Dean laid sideways, but kept his legs tucked up so Sam had a place to sit.

            Sam was still sipping at his beer as he made his way over to the couch, by then Dean was stretched out, but without prompting Sam picked up his legs and draped them over his lap, propping his feet up on the coffee table.

            “Sam, I can move…” Dean started.

            “You always had a thing for Molly Ringwald, she’s still hot, did that drama on the family channel or whatever,” Sam said without skipping a beat, shimming backwards on the couch to get comfortable.

            Dean exhaled roughly, eyes stinging badly, he closed them and would have been able to keep the saline eating its way behind his eyelashes if Cas hadn’t started combing long fingers through his hair. God it was so intimate. Cas must have heard the trembling sound of his breath, he said nothing only bent forward and kissed his temple, lingering there for emphasis. Dean could feel himself drifting to the sound of Cas and Sam discussing different aspects of the film. Sam talking about direction of course, the genius that was John Hughes and Cas arguing how highly irresponsible it was to leave such troubled youth alone. Dean felt safe, and God help him, loved. So much so he didn’t care about the fact that his face was wet, and he fell asleep with Cas’ fingertips brushing away the tears in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty pretty please with Cas hugs on top review!!!


	5. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary talks to John, the family goes out to a bar, angst happens and Dean crosses some bridges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey peeps!!!! New chapter!!! It is nearly 6 in the morning but I had to get this chapter up for my best friend ;) Thank you all so so so much for the reviews, kudos and bookmarks!!!! I'm so happy ya'll are enjoying this so much!!! More chapters sooon! Warnings for homophobic language in this chapter! But that is all!

Mary drove around for some time before she decided to visit the motel John was staying at. She needed to clear her head, as well as her rage, before talking to her husband, of which for all intent and purposes he was like a stranger to her. They hadn’t even shared a bed the night before, and as she remembered he was everything that was kind and understanding. So when she saw the man she loved strike her oldest, something akin to horror began to drown her before it morphed into anger. She parked the car and headed into the main office, asking for his room number. Tentatively she knocked on the door and when he opened said door, his face softened to something she recognized.

            “We need to talk,” she managed to not growl.

            “Look, I know what this is about, I lost my temper that’s all,” John began.

            She scoffed, loudly, “Lost your temper? All those awful things you were screaming at our son? That was ‘losing’ your temper? What happened to you John? When we were together, before all that happened, you would have never spoken to our kids that way. And now it flies off your tongue with ease!”

            “So you are completely fine with our son being gay, no not just gay, he’s not even banging something human!”

            “Yes I am ‘fine’ with it, he’s happy, ridiculously so! And Castiel is perfect for him, hell, the way they look at each other is how you and I used to look at each other. Like the world begins and ends! Why is that wrong?!”

            “It’s wrong and it’s dangerous!”

            “Look, I get it that this kind of thing was frowned upon back in your day, but from what Sam was telling me it’s accepted now. Less dangerous, so to speak, Dean and Cas could get married now if they wanted to, of which I would want nothing more than to see Dean settle down and get out of this asinine business you got our boys into!”

            “No son of mine is marrying a man! Mary, don’t you understand that this makes him a target? There are already things out there trying to kill us, he doesn’t need another target on his back!”

            “So that is your excuse?!” Mary near screamed, “You hit our son in hopes you’ll ‘beat the gay’ out of him so he’ll be safe?!”

            “I’ve seen it when I was in the Marines Mary, group a guys in my outfit found out one of our own had a guy waiting at home not a girl, they damn near beat him within an inch of his life. If I didn’t teach Dean the consequences of that lifestyle someone else would and it’ll get him killed!”

            Mary went quiet, and then was shaking her head, “This is not your decision anymore and it never was and I am appalled right now to be your wife. You don’t beat our kid to protect him, you beat up the people that threaten him. Our son has been miserable for all these years, and so help me God if you fuck up this wonderful thing he has, if you lay one finger on him, you will never see any of us again. Are you reading me? You fix this, or you’re on your own John Winchester,” she stabbed his chest with her finger with emphasis, “Don’t come back until you figure that out.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            When she returned to the Bunker, it was close to midnight, so she made it a point to be quiet when she opened the not so quiet bunker door. She descended the stairs, she was in serious need of having a drink, her whole world feeling as if it were upside down and praying that John would come around. She was sure the John she fell in love with was still in there, that he hadn’t completely been warped and twisted with losing her and forced to raise kids alone. But she wasn’t an idiot either and she certainly would not let the past blind her to what wrongs lay right in front of her.

            She walked into the ‘head quarters’ part of the building where she saw the liquor cabinet, she could see the television flickering in the low lit atmosphere of the living room. There on the couch, was Dean stretched out fully, head in the angel’s lap and his legs draped over Sammy’s lap. Sam was slumped down far enough where his legs practically covered the coffee table, and Castiel had simply laid his head to the back of the couch, all three were sleeping soundly. She chuckled softly to herself, drinking in the sight, they were all going to be feeling this in the morning no doubt, but she didn’t have the heart to wake them. Shaking her head fondly, she went into the laundry room retrieved a couple of blankets and draped them over her boys. Given that Dean’s head was in Cas’ lap she merely tucked a blanket around Cas’ legs.

            “Mom?” Sam’s sleep clogged voice broke the silence, “You okay? Where’d you go?”

            “I’m okay, go back to sleep, we’ll talk tomorrow,” she bent at the waist and kissed his forehead, running fingers affectionately through his hair, “Go back to sleep.” his eyes were already closed at that point which made her smile.

 

~~~~~~~~~

            Dean didn’t remember being put to bed, but here he was waking up tangled in his sheets when he distinctly remembered falling asleep on the couch. He stretched an arm out and expected Cas’ warm body but came up short, “Cas?” he arched his back, groaning when he was rewarded with a series of pops and cracks. Just as he was about to exit the bedroom Cas arrived with a tray in hand, a plateful of food and coffee. Something else new was that Cas was in one of his t-shirts and a worn pair of sweatpants. That was oddly arousing and he couldn’t pinpoint why.

            “I was hoping I would return before you woke up,” Cas smiled, closing the door with his hip.

            “You made me breakfast?” Dean awed, cursing the fact that his eyes were watering. Goddamnitt it was like it got turned on and he couldn’t turn it off, no matter how hard he tried.

            “Sit back,” Cas instructed so he could set the tray to his lap, “Your mother helped me quite a bit.”

            Dean chuckled softly as he peered down at the plate and took immediate notice of his toast, “You scraped a smiley face into the toast?”

            “Mary told me this was something you enjoyed as a child and I can see it still garners the same effect,” the same warm smile was adorning his face, he leaned into Dean’s space and kissed him sweetly on the mouth and then his forehead.

            Dean knew he was a goner at this point, and he wanted all of this, the domestic bullshit he used to make fun of when he was in his 20’s. He never wanted to be without this again, and he hated that he hadn’t had this years ago. Hell, they were already like an old married couple as it was, but adding the affection, the touches, the kisses was a bonus, “You want in on this?”

            “No Dean, this is for you,” Cas answered in his matter of fact way.

            “You ever had eggs?”

            “Not that I recall, no.”

            Dean laughed with the furrowing of Cas’ brow, just like anything else he was seriously searching his memory, “Well, open up then,” he held out a fork full of scrambled eggs, Cas complied without question and then he was chewing, and thinking, as he always did with something new, “Good?”

            “Yes, very good.”

            Dean took a bite and groaned, “Yeah, she used to make’em like this too when I was a kid, extra pepper. Thanks Cas, uh, this is nice, I’ve never had anyone do this for me before.”

            Cas reach forward and with his thumb swiped away a smudge of butter on Dean’s lips, before sucking that digit into his own mouth, “It was my pleasure.”

            Dean bit back a moan with that action, he wasn’t sure if the angel was doing that on purpose or if it was just typical Cas, not that he was complaining. He still felt some semblance of hesitation. He wasn’t gonna lie, he had fantasized, and it may or may not have been in the shower, pouncing Castiel to the bed. Having him scream his name as he took him apart, but still, he wasn’t sure when he’d be able to cross that bridge. He was pulled from his thoughts when fingers threaded through his messy strands, “You think far too much, if one could say such a thing, your face is rather noisy. Relax.”

            Dean took a breath, “Sorry, real easy to get lost in my head nowadays. Thanks for this sweetheart, really.”

            “I love you Dean,” Cas spoke low and deep, taking his free hand in his own and kissing the knuckles.

            “Love you too Cas,” and Dean smiled, he didn’t think he’d ever feel such contentment at being able to say that out loud.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Days turned into weeks, and the Winchester family had not heard anything from John. Dean was trying to accept the fact that his Dad was just not gonna budge on this, and although it hurt, he was happier to have the support of the rest of his family. He didn’t have to hide anymore and that meant both literal and figurative. No more hiding his true feelings and no more lying to his little brother, no more lame ass stories to cover bruises and he made it a point to hug and kiss Cas when he had the chance. And blissfully, despite the pain that came with having to let go of their Dad they’d only just gotten back, he was free. For the first time since he realized these feelings, he was free.

            Cas was shocked when Dean asked them to all go out, “We’ve been cooped up for weeks now and hunts don’t count as going out. I wanna drink, play pool, God, anything.”

            So given that they lived in a college town, bars were a dime a dozen. Sam found the one bar that had pinball, air hockey, you name it. The four of them sat in a booth, with hot wings that Dean begged Cas to try and then regretted it wholly when Cas didn’t understand what ‘hot’ was and was panting and had his eyes tearing. Dean was uttering a litany of ‘I’m sorry babe, I’m so sorry’ of which had Mary and Sam laughing far too loudly. Without even thinking Dean kissed him quickly in apology as he urged him to drink his beer and Cas forgot all about the burning sensation on his tongue.

            “Mom, you gotta try these arcade games,” Sam said, once their laughter died down, “Did you ever play Pacman?”

            “Yeah, a few times, with your…” she stopped herself, “Not enough to know what I’m doing, come on,” she shimmied out of the booth and Sam followed.

            Dean draped an arm around Cas’ shoulders and tugged him close, “Sorry about that, but I know you’ll be up to full charge soon and then you won’t be able to taste anything again. That sucks by the way, I bet you’ve never even had a good slice of pie.”

            “I’m not sure when I will be up to ‘full charge’ again, my body is recovering slowly. But recovering none the less,” Cas sighed into the welcomed touch, resting his head on Dean’s shoulder.

            “How about I teach you how to play pool? You ever done that?” Dean asked, sneaking a kiss to his dark hair.

            “No I have not.”

            “Well come on then,” Dean said, giving him a nudge towards the edge of the booth, “Then I’ll show you air hockey, now that game takes patience, use to kick Sammy’s ass every time and he would get so mad. Priceless I’ll tell ya.”

            Dutifully Cas followed after as Dean pulled him up by one hand, he wasn’t sure if Dean was wholly aware of his actions. He seemed so relaxed and easy to give affection and that had Cas’ heart swelling happily. That pure thought was sullied when he noticed the table full of men across from them, and more than one was eyeing them with interest, and the glares could cut glass. He was pulled from his concerned thoughts when Dean asked, “You know what a cue is right?”

            Cas liked this game very much, the learning process that is. Having Dean flush against him was intoxicating and had his body reacting in ways he was not used to. He wondered at times if Dean was being deliberately teasing, as his hands slid down his thin t-shirt clad back to correct his stance, and the palms of his hands gliding up his forearms to steady the shot. Then he was sure it was deliberate when Dean brushed lips against his ear and whispered, “Eye on the ball and liner’ up.”

            Turns out Cas was good at this, sinking every ball with precision after only a few failed attempts, “Damn sweetheart, we could make some serious money if we wanted to. Tell’em you suck at it and then blow’em out of the water. Rack’em up and we’ll play another round, just let me get the chalk.” he headed towards the rows of cues, searching for the chalk and when he turned back around he was face to face with a very ‘trucker’ looking dude, “Excuse me.”

            “No, excuse you,” the man growled, shoving Dean back.

            “What the fuck is your problem?!”

            “You are the problem, you and your little faggot boyfriend get the fuck outta here.” he said it so loudly, several people at the bar turned around, and then he could see Cas had heard as well.

            “Oh yeah, you and what army asshole?!”

            “That army,” the guy smiled, pointing at three other equally looking pissed men glaring, “And we don’t wanna be sittin’ and watching you two freaks grope each other. You wanna do that shit go to a fucking gay bar.”

            Dean could feel his face flushing in both humiliation and anger, feeling as though every eye in the joint was on him, “This is a free fucking world,” he started but was slammed up against the wall, “So the faggot wants a fight.”

            Dean expected the punch, but it didn’t stop him from seeing stars, then he could hear Cas and Sam’s voice arriving above the ringing in his ears. He knew he must have hit his head as he slid to the floor, he was with it enough to see the leader being tossed across the bar, and he also knew Cas had his mojo involved. He pushed up from the floor just in time to avoid another punch from another nameless man which allowed him an opportunity to swing and catch the man’s jaw.

            The last thing he thought he’d ever see was the looming figure of his Dad suddenly in line of sight, knocking the lights out of another man who’d approached the situation, “Back the fuck up!” he was screaming.

            “What, this faggot slut got two boyfriends? What are you gonna do about it?!”

            John glared, fists tightening at his sides, “You have ten seconds to get the fuck out of here.”

            Dean was blinking rapidly, trying to clear his vision but he could see that his Dad was carrying a pistol and he was aptly revealing it to the red neck clan.

            “That’s my fucking kid you’re talking about. Ten seconds asshole,” and then there was a clambering of feet and the bar fell silent.

            Dean was staring blankly up at his father, trying desperately to file through what just happened, “Dad…”

            “This is what happens Dean, this was what I was trying to prevent,” John sighed and then without another word he was moving away and was out the door.

            “Dean,” Cas’ voice arrived, his impossibly blue eyes wet and full of worry, taking Dean’s face in his hands, “Are you alright?”

            “Yeah, I think so, can’t have a simple night out huh?” Dean tried to joke and failed.

            “What was he doing here?” Sam floundered.

            Dean shook his head as Cas helped him up from the floor, “I don’t know, I don’t even know what that was all about. He can smack me around but God forbid someone else do it?”

            “Sweetie are you okay?” Mary was asking, pulling him into a hug, “God that got out of hand fast.”

            “I’m fine Mom, just bruised up a bit,” Dean huffed, rubbing at his jaw, “Let’s just go home.”

            “Why did Dad do that?” Sam shook his head.

            “I don’t know,” Mary frowned, her heart hopeful.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

            Spirits were somewhat deflated when the family returned to the bunker, everyone decided it would be best to go to bed. Dean allowed Cas to heal the little damage he’d acquired and they were heading aimlessly to the bedroom.

            Cas was nervous, he’d been so proud of Dean tonight, he’d finally let loose of his fears and now? Would this confrontation with not only blatant strangers but his Dad as well distress him enough to digress, “Dean, about tonight,” Cas began as Dean closed the door behind him, but he was cut off by lips and he was groaning unconsciously as Dean sucked on his tongue.

            “I don’t wanna talk about tonight,” he maneuvered Cas to the bed until the backs of his knees hit the mattress and then his ass. Cas may or may not have squeaked when Dean straddled his lap, “It’s gonna take a helluva lot more than a group of bigoted assholes to make me not want this, not want you. Cas, I love you, nothing, and I mean _nothing_ is gonna change that. Fucking backwards thinking society or my fucking Dad, got it?”

            Cas thought he may have nodded but then Dean’s mouth was on his once more, biting and nipping and sucking, and Cas savored the taste of Dean’s tongue. Just the slightest taste of alcohol and then everything that was simply ‘Dean’. His breath stuttered when Dean pulled away, fingers fumbling for the hem of Cas’ t-shirt and pulling it up and over his head, tossing it to the floor.

            Dean had never had the chance to really study the man, sans the couple of times he’d seen him without his trench-coat attire, but now he was granted such an opportunity. He gently pushed Cas back to the bed, “God you’re beautiful,” he dipped down and lapped at the angel’s throat, licking a long strip up to his jaw, claiming his lips once more, “I love these lips, these ridiculously gorgeous lips, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss them,” he sucked the bottom one between his teeth, before tracing the top with his tongue and Cas whimpered. Dean had never heard such a noise leave Cas’ mouth and it directed all thought processes, not to mention blood flow, south. He dotted kisses from one side of his jaw to the next and eased down until he found one nipple, circling it endlessly with the tip of his tongue, properly wetted, he replaced his mouth with fingertips.

            “D-Dean, ah, ah,” Cas gasped and pinched his eyes shut, feeling so humanly breathless, he tugged at Dean’s shirt, silently begging him to rid himself of the offending coverage. Dean broke their contact long enough to pull the shirt over his head.

            Dean thought surely that after the events at the bar he would feel disgusted, ashamed, even stand offish. But somehow he felt completely liberated. He had been confronted by his worst fears and words that he knew would be thrown at him sooner or later, and he didn’t care. At all. All he cared about was the writhing, panting body beneath him of which he loved, and love was given in return. He knew he wasn’t ready for sex. Wasn’t sure when he would be but this was ecstasy, heaven, simply with lips and caresses and panting. In the midst of his thoughts Cas flipped them and Dean ‘oofed’ as his back hit the bed. Cas simply resumed their ridiculously hot make out session and Dean knew he was gonna cum in his pants like a teenager as soon as Cas pinned his arms above his head.

            “I love you,” Cas murmured, flush to Dean’s ear, taking the lobe between his teeth, and nipping and sucking a trail of punishing kisses to his throat. He was happy to discover, after careful exploration, that Dean’s nipples were just as sensitive, and he took advantage until Dean was bucking up against Cas’ hip without thinking. He wasn’t sure he was allowed to touch southward so he did the next best thing, he arched downwards with his hip, brushing their obvious arousals together and Dean yelped with a barely understandable “Yes!” Cas ate up that plea as he devoured his mouth, grinding again and again until Dean was grunting along with him, and when his entire body went taut he knew he’d guessed right in what his human wanted.

            “Ah, ah, fuck,” Dean clutched Cas close to his body, face disappearing in the space of Cas’ shoulder and neck, he whined shamelessly as his orgasm washed over him and took control of his limbs.

            Cas held him close for several, long seconds, catching his breath as Dean caught his as well, he kissed his pulse point noticing the heavy pounding of his heart, “I love you,” he said again.

            Dean inhaled shakily, “I love you too sweetheart,” his arms felt like spaghetti and he thought he should feel ashamed about getting off simply with bumping and grinding, but he couldn’t find himself to care.

            “Was that okay?” Cas asked, as soon as the high began to dissipate, worry fell in suit.

            “More than okay,” Dean chuckled.

            Cas felt a wash of relief fall over him when Dean smiled up at him, he kissed his lips and nuzzled his cheek, “Would you like to sleep now?”

            Dean nodded, already feeling the post sex bliss take hold that would guarantee good sleep. He felt Cas move off of him, already missing the warmth, despite the mess between them, but then it was suddenly gone and that made him gasp, “Cas, man, what have I told you, every time you use your grace for these menial tasks you take longer to heal.” he was interrupted by another kiss.

            “And the faster we are in bed, resting, the better,” Cas said in his matter of fact way.

            Dean just shook his head, and then he could feel Cas dressing him in sleep pants, “I can do that,” he might have slurred sleepily.

            “I like doing this, I like taking care of you,” Cas spoke softly, urging him under the covers, and then changing clothes himself.

            “No shirt?” Dean rose an eyebrow.

            “I enjoy your flesh against my own, is that alright?”

            Dean’s smile widened, “Of course it is, come’er,” he opened up his arms and Cas easily fell into them as he leaned sideways and turned off the lamp, “Night sweetheart.”

            Cas wrapped one arm tightly around his waist and flopped one leg over his hunter’s leg and inhaled deeply and satisfied, “Goodnight Dean,” and the angel fell asleep with the beat of Dean’s heart and kisses in his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews will get you awesome wing!kink very soon ;)


	6. Honesty At Its Finest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and John talk, and Dean and CAS talk ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay wonderful, lovely, beautiful readers. Here be your wing!kink! This is especially, specifically dedicated to my best friend (fic it's dedicated to), she surprised me today with a personal drawing from linneart if you do not know her work look her up, she does the most BEAUTIFUL Destiel stuff EVER. I've been fangirling all day over this artwork and I put in the extra effort to get this fluffy smut out into the world! I'm so so so happy I got this written and it turned out SO MUCH BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD!!! So everybody enjoy and PLEASE let me know how I did I've never written wing!kink! So I need to know ;) With that said, I hope you take in to consideration of how I handled John, they'll never be perfect that is apparent but I wanted them to be 'okay' at this point, so please, be kind :) PLEASE REVIEW!!!!

Dean was anxious. It had been over a week since the bar incident and once more John had disappeared. Not that Dean wasn’t comfortable around the Bunker now, he was at ease with Cas, hand in tow more often than not. And the family fell into something of a routine. One week, then two of no word, they’d gotten a hunt but it was a poltergeist, a rather harmless one so Mary and Sam agreed they could take it alone.

            Sam had thought to ask Cas to join them just in case as Mary was still getting back into the swing of things, but the angel had a constant mask of worry marring his brow ever since the bigotry at the bar. Sam found that he was afraid to leave Dean alone in any respect, was afraid that John might show up at the bunker. If he did attack Dean, Sam wasn’t really sure how much Dean would fight back. So it was settled that just Mary and Sam go on the hunt. Sam was shocked that Dean didn’t argue, not in the least. Dean had admitted that he just wanted some alone time with Cas, that he’d get back into the game soon enough.

~~~~~~

            “Whatta ya wanna watch Cas?” Dean asked plopping down on the couch as Cas fitted himself in, snug at the hunter’s side Dean kissed the top of his head, “Any sappy thing you want.”

            “You enjoy ‘sap’ Dean, just accept it,” Cas smiled, sighing in contentment, snaking an arm around Dean’s middle, folding his legs up and resting his head to Dean’s chest.

            “Big girl,” Dean chuckled, wrapping an arm around him as well and propping his feet up on the table. Since the angel seemed to like the 80’s movies, he’d bid for St. Elmo’s Fire. Of course half way in Cas was saying ‘I will never understand infidelity’ and he had held Dean tighter with that remark. That was about the time Dean’s phone began to buzz, he dug it out of his pocket and didn’t recognize the number, but opened the text, four simple words ‘we need to talk’. Dean’s heart leapt and unconsciously he sat up on the couch.

            “What’s wrong, is it Sam?” Cas asked in concern.

            “No,” Dean huffed, “It’s Dad, he says he wants to talk.”

            “Do you wish to do so?”

            Dean shrugged, “I-I don’t know if it’ll do any good. Dad’s one stubborn son of a bitch.”

            “I will not let him harm you Dean,” Cas assured, “If you wish to talk to him here.”

            “I know that Cas, I’m just…”

            “Nervous, I understand,” Cas said softly, proud that Dean was having an easier time admitting things to him, or at least trying too. Cas could see right through the human, always had been able to do so, but it was getting him to voice his inner thoughts that proved challenging.

            Dean texted back, after a fifteen-minute contemplation, and wrote ‘only if we speak here’, “Gotta do it sometime I guess, right? It’ll just hang over my head if I don’t.”

            Cas wanted to say that perhaps this would right things with his Father, but if John Winchester was anything like Dean, he was going to stick to his guns, “I will be here with you,” Cas kissed his cheek, “And I will also zap his ass out of here if he tries anything.”

            Dean outright laughed, “I love you,” and he leaned into another kiss.

 

            An hour later, with Dean thrumming his fingers on his thigh, his phone buzzed again telling him that Dad was waiting outside. He mounted the stairs to the bunker door and with a loud creak opened up, “Dad, come on in.” Dean acknowledged, gesturing towards the stairs, he was just nervous enough not to go first.

            John locked eyes with Cas sitting at the large center table. Cas was glaring in a way that made the man believe he could melt his skull with merely a look. Hell, maybe he could.  He cleared his throat, “I thought we’d have this talk alone.”

            “Yeah, well, we know how talks ‘alone’ with you go, so the angel is staying,” Dean countered, crossing his arms tightly across his chest.

            “I’d rather not talk in front of your boyfriend,” John refrained from growling.

            “My _boyfriend_ ,” Dean put emphasis on the word, his voice dropping an octave lower, “Isn’t going anywhere. Given that everything you have said to me refers to him as well, I’m not saying it again. He’s stayin’.”

            “Fine,” John gritted out, “Can we sit down at least?”

            Dean sighed and nodded, taking a seat himself, “So is this another ‘I told you so’ talk because if that’s it then we are done here.”

            “It’s not so much as an I told you so is that I warned you, this shit will get you killed,” John began.

            “You know what Dad, this is 2016, not 1983. A lot of people are outta the closet and are perfectly fine. So what if I ran into some rednecks, I can take care of myself and so can Cas.”

            “Yeah, he’s got super powers, or whatever it is he can do, of course he can protect himself.” John side glanced at the angel.

            Dean shook his head, “You were doing a pretty good job yourself, beating the crap out of me when I stepped out of line. So what makes a bunch of red necks any different?”

            “I was doing that to protect you, I thought, the least that I was your friend the more you’d listen to me. And if that meant smacking you around when need be, then, well, I was gonna do it if I thought it would keep you alive.”

            “That,” Dean scoffed with a laugh, “That is the biggest bunch of bullshit I have ever heard. You hit me so I’d hate you, to make sure I kept dick out of the equation? You really thought that you’d scare the gay right out of me?! And by the way I’m BI, so yeah, my doors swing both ways. I still like woman, nothing’s changed there.”

            “Dean, it isn’t just the…guy thing, you are in a relationship with a monster,” the words slipped out with disdain without restraint.

            “For the last goddamn time he’s not a monster!” Dean nearly screamed and his blood was boiling when he saw Cas flinch.

            “I did some reading on angels and he’s possessing some poor bastard, how is that _right_ on any level?! He’s no better than a demon! How many times has he almost killed you before these flames got kindled?” John countered.

            “As many times as I’ve almost killed him! We’ve had some major fucked up episodes in our lives, but when it comes down to it? He is always there for me, always has been and always will be and fuck Dad, isn’t that what you and Mom want for Sam and I? Someone that ain’t gonna bail as soon as they see the real us?”

            “I only ever wanted to keep you alive, and if being alone is one of the options I was gonna encourage it at all costs.”

            “What if I’d settled down with a girl? Huh?”

            John exhaled roughly, “Honest? I’d probably discourage that just as adamantly, because feelings get you killed on the job, they distract you.”

            “So you gonna leave Mom?” Dean snapped, “Dad, you keep tryin’ to make this make sense to me and you’re going around in circles!”

            “I would never leave your Mother I love her!”

            “Well, I love Cas and I’m not leaving him either!”

            “I can die Dean, I’ve done it before I’ll do it again but I can’t have you dying too!”

            Dean growled loudly, springing up from his chair and clutching his head, “Dad! Guess what?! I’ve died a few times more than you! Death is just a part of it, but I’d rather die with him by my side! If you can’t accept that we are done here! Is that what you really want, to just leave so you don’t have to witness anything unpleasant, to actually deal with this shit as a family for once! I’m tired of hiding I’m tired of keepin’ it buried THAT is what has been dangerous, more than you backhanding me. Every time Dad, every time you hit me and I wanted to know why and all you’d tell me was that you wouldn’t have a fag for a son!”

            “Dean…” John began, moving forward.

            “You can’t say you didn’t mean that, because it sure as fuck felt like you did the countless times you said it!”

            John’s face went soft for the first time since they’d reunited, “I-I don’t mean that, not really. I guess, I thought if I said it first it would make it easier when other people called you that. Cause that night in the bar? That was hard, that was what I’d been trying to keep you from.”

            “I am a grown ass fucking man and I don’t need that fucked up parenting. All I ever wanted to do was please you and I failed, every fucking time! Fuck, I can’t even keep the Impala up to your standards, it’s _everything_ , goddamnitt who calls their Dad sir?! Is there anything about me you like, was there ever a time I did anything right?!” he hated that the tears were coming without any control at all and when his eyes cut to Cas’ his eyes were shimmering as well.

            “Every day son, every day you kept Sam safe you were doing something right!” John had to shout over Dean’s shouts, he took another step, “I just… I fucked it up! I fucked up big time!”

            Dean stuttered to a stop, trying to control his breathing, “Yeah, you did,” his voice quieted, “You really did and I…”

            “Look, I don’t know when I’ll come to terms with, all of this, but I want you to know one thing…you are my son and I love you and that will not change.” John spoke unsteadily, pinching the bridge of his nose.

            Both men were quiet for a few moments before Dean found the strength to speak again and wiped viciously at his face, “You know it’s gonna take a lot more than words, right? It was 20 some odd years of being beat down, of being taught I could never be me. These last few weeks? I have never been happier. I’ve been sleeping more, drinking less. And that’s because of Cas, no one else. I’m 38 fucking years old and for the first time I’m happy” and a second first was his Dad’s eyes looking almost wet.

            “I can see that Dean, a-and I’m sorry…I mean I shouldn’t have gotten involved with your personal life. You’re right, you’re a grown man, you’re not a kid anymore…”

            “It’s not just that Dad, I need you to understand…”

            “I do, I mean I think I do, or I’m gonna try,” John scrambled for the right words but he could tell by both the angel and Dean’s face that it wasn’t enough, “I hope someday we can get this squared away. And I think it’s gonna take time and some more space, until we both get our heads cleared.”

            “I think that too,” Dean’s eyes fell to the floor and he flinched, almost violently when he felt a hand on his arm.

            “I-I’ll call ya,” and then he was up the stairs and gone.

 

            “Dean,” Cas spoke up after a long bout of silence, “Are you alright?”

            “Y-Yeah,” Dean spat, wiping at his face again, “I’m fine, I’m fine.”

            “Dean, I’m proud of you,” Cas said, and even though Dean’s face flushed into a very pleasing shade of red Cas smiled softly.

            Dean barked a laugh, and almost out of habit to their recent honesty meant to say ‘thanks’ but instead, “I need a beer,” and he wouldn’t admit it out loud that he was shaking and the entire time his stomach was churning, “Or something stronger.” before Dean fully realized the angel was leading him into the kitchen and setting him down, retrieving the drink and seemingly waiting for a breakdown, “Really Cas, I’m good….that was a lot of crap I’ve been meaning to say to him…it felt good…just a little overwhelming is all. And he didn’t smack me, so there’s that,” he took a deep swig of the beer and then sat spinning it in slow circles, picking at the label. When the silence proved to be too much, Dean wet his lips and urged Cas’ eyes upwards, “You know that’s not true, right?”

            “What?” Cas began blinking owlishly.

            “You know _what_ , I saw your face,” Dean frowned, “You’re not a monster.”

            Cas fiddled with his own beer bottle, “You’ve never seen me in my true form, not even a little of it. I am an unworldly creature, even now in this vessel Dean, and your Father is right…I did take a man’s life to exist.”

            “Damnitt Cas, don’t start that crap again, you could say the same thing about everything I’ve done!” he lowered his voice when Cas’ blue eyes went slightly wider with the hint of hurt, “Cas, baby, you are not a monster, not in any sense of the word, got it? And if I could see all that, big as the Chrysler building thing, you’d be just as beautiful as you are now.”

            “I’m not entirely sure you would think me as such, my wings are a testament to my failures, each time I edge from my duties, each time I fail, they only become duller, do you know they use to be white?” Cas murmured, “And now…”

            “What, what now?” Dean urged on, beer abandoned at this point.

            Cas shook his head, “I-I do not want you to know, they are so very damaged,” and Cas knew that it was the ever increasing feeling of human that wrapped itself around his very being that made him feel such shame, and embarrassment at the thought of his mate seeing only an inkling of his true form. And the word ‘monster’ swirled madly around in his brain, stamping and bruising his heart.

            “Can you show me? I mean, I know about that whole ethereal plane and shit, and I’ve seen their shadows at the very least. Can you show me?”

            “Dean…” Cas’ felt his throat constrict, “That is something I can do with our bond but I do not wish to see you look upon me with disgust.”

            Dean moved up from his chair, cupping Cas’ face in both hands and captured his lips against his own, he kissed him gently and tenderly for a few measured seconds, when he parted their mouths Cas whimpered, “I wanna see, it’s like scars right? I’ve got’em too, outside as well as inside.”

            “Yes, but, what if you change your mind about us? That once you see…”

            Dean silenced him with another swift kiss, “Nope, not gonna happen, everything we’ve been through? I love you Castiel, for being so smart you can sure be stupid.” Cas stepped back, but only slightly, and then it was like time and space sighed, and the room flittered with light and he could tell Cas was trying to level his breathing, eyes shut tightly. And then they were there, flush against his T-shirt clad back, bunched together it seemed with tension, “Cas…”

            Cas stood stiffly, fists clenched at his side and eyes still closed so intensely it looked painful, chin pressed to his chest.

            “Cas,” Dean said again, “Sweetheart, look at me,” he hooked a finger under his chin, getting him to loosen only mildly, “Look at me, relax,” Dean was in awe, trying to get a better look, but for now, first and foremost it was calming Cas down because the little dude was wound tight as a spring, “Castiel…” he murmured firmly.

            Cas slowly opened one eye and that had Dean smiling, “There ya are, not so bad huh, can I touch them?”

            “What?” Cas sputtered, wing flittering closer to his sides.

            “I said, can I touch’em, I mean that doesn’t hurt or anything does it?” Dean moved closer

            “N-No,” Cas cleared his throat, standing somewhat straighter, “But why?”

            “Cause they’re freaking amazing babe, are you kidding me?” he gave a prominent nod towards the appendages and Cas understood and gave a nod of his own. Carefully starting at the top curve of the wing Dean glided his palm downwards, letting his fingertips only brush along as he went. They fluttered and puffed out some, and Dean gave a laugh, “What was that?”

            “T-They are sensitive, that’s all,” Cas said coyly.

            Dean hadn’t seen Cas this flustered since that time so long ago at the strip club, his eyes blown wide, his throat quivering in dwindling control, “Relax baby, can you let’em loose a little more? I may not be a wing expert but if you could you’d hit the ceiling. I’m not gonna hurt you.”

            “I know that Dean,” Cas spat, some of his angel firmness arising.

            The black, purplish plumage slumped farther down giving off the semblance of light through a crystal, rainbow colored, hell maybe ALL the colors, Dean thought. He only smirked at Cas’ stubbornness, studying how the feathers rippled over Cas’ toned back, they were in fact much longer when Cas relaxed, the tips brushing the floor. He wondered just how big they were, and if relaxin’ Cas was the key, he could do that, “Come on,” he took Cas’ hand, “I am not passing up exploring how these things work.”

            “Dean,” he began but his human was leading him into their bedroom, Cas was about to ask what exactly Dean meant when he was spun around to face the hunter and was silenced smartly with a kiss. A moan escaped his mouth without warrant and it was elongated when Dean wrapped his arms around his waist, the tops of his hands and wrists brushing against the underside of his wings, and he shuddered head to toe. This did not go unnoticed by his partner.

            They vibrated, every feather seemed to vibrate and come to life and Dean, Chuck help him, was grinning ear to ear. He repeated the actions, still kissing the angel breathless and experimentally dragged all ten fingers up the joint that attached to Cas’ back and Cas jumped, groaning loudly into Dean’s mouth, the feathers splayed out like a reflex and snapped harshly in return to his back, “That hurt?”

            Cas gulped audibly and shook his head, “N-Never been touched like this,”

            Dean nuzzled, traced his nose up Cas trembling throat, ghosting his lips up his jaw line, he brought both hands up and with his thumbs outlined the apex of the meatiest part of the wings, testing, and teasing. Cas merely breathed heavier, eyes still closed as if lost in the sensations. Dean thought he’d go for it, now or never. And lately he was all about the now, he threaded his fingers like one would through hair, each time diving a little deeper between the depths of the feathers and if Cas hadn’t had his arms hooked around Dean’s shoulders, his knees would buckle, “That feel good?”

            Another highly audible gulp and he felt Cas nod, that spurred Dean forward and he added some pressure, when he grazed a spot on the underside with his thumbs, crooking his digits, just below the thickest part of both wings Cas’ legs did give out with a shrill cry, “Whoa!” it startled Dean more than anything, terrified that he’d found an ‘off’ switch and rendered the angel unconscious. He scooped Cas up and deposited him to the bed, hovering over him and pushing the dark hair from his brow, “Are you okay?! Cas?!” when wide blue eyes locked onto his, something told him everything was just fine.

            “Do that again,” Cas breathed gruffly.

            Dean had never heard THAT sound before and his smirk from earlier returned promptly, “Oh, I am gonna have fun with this,” he could tell Cas was still wired of course, but his wings were spread out, exposed, folding in and out as if they were breathing all on their own, “Arms down beautiful.” he directed the extra limbs away from his goal, “Can you mojo your shirt away?” he’d hardly the sentence off his tongue and Cas’ was naked from the waist up. He leaned down and traced the outside of Cas’ lips and made a definite path to the left wing. When his lips first met the plumage he found them incredibly warm and they smelled wonderful like the air right after a storm, some kind of aftershave remembered from his teen years and home. He wasn’t quite sure what that was, but right now he wasn’t inclined to argue. He lingered in one spot, simply kissing over and over, then he moved on and it helped that Cas spread them wider, his head arched backwards and carefully watching Dean, mouth open and panting. If that wasn’t sexy as fuck. Feeling bold Dean snuck out his tongue as he made the trail over the top bone, searching for that spot again, he used one hand to move away the tinier, shorter feathers around the joint and from there pressed his tongue. Cas screeched and arched his back, wings fully expanding and knocking over books on one table.

            “I’m sorry!” Cas tried to spat without moaning, and failing.

            “Do not apologize,” Dean growled and went back to that spot, kissing and nipping and when he introduced sucking into the equation Cas was fucking keening. In something of a purple and black flash, Dean found himself on his back and Cas, holy fucking angel of the Lord was looming above him, wings out like a canopy, “Hey, I was having fun!”

            “Dean,” Cas was flushed, from the scalp line of his hair all the way down.

            Dean, being the little shit that he was, pulled the angel down with an ‘oof’ and spread his fingers through the shorter strands at the base of his wings, he nudged a bump and that had Cas making more high pitched noises and then very noticeably, was grinding against Dean’s hip. His arousal was prominent and Dean gasped as it brushed his own penis standing at attention. He thumbed that bump again and felt a gush of sweet smelling fluid and Cas trembled once more, “Cas…baby…”

            “Preening oil, for cleaning our wings. I-I have not been touched in so long…I-I’m sorry if it is off putting…” Cas didn’t expect to be flipped again onto his back, his wings fighting for balance.

            Dean grabbed his chin and bit his bottom lip, swiping his tongue inside the angel’s mouth and sucking, cradling his skull to keep him close, “Stop apologizing,” Dean eased Cas on his side and returned his hand to that spot, circling over and over as the oil coated his hand, all the while kissing him blind.

            “Why are you still clothed?!” Cas growled, and in the heat of the moment did not care at the simple use of grace, Dean was naked in one swipe.

            “No strip show huh?” Dean chuckled, but the laugh fell short when Cas lined their throbbing members alongside one another, he moved his hand down and grasped them both, the oil acting wonderfully as lubricant. He thumbed at the slit that was weeping, had been so for minutes now. He pressed firmly, urging more droplets forward and circled the head with the pad of his thumb and Cas whimpered, “You’re so beautiful baby, and you’re mine.”

            “I’m yours and you are mine,” Cas whined when Dean used his free hand to run ceaselessly down one upturned wing, gently tugging with just the right pressure that had him exposing his throat to the hunter to nip and bite. He was writhing, squirming and not knowing sure where he wanted his body to go, but the scent of Dean was everywhere, his hands everywhere and he rutted mindlessly into Dean’s hand.

            The lightbulb to the side of the bed burst as Cas grunted in a high-pitched tone, pressing himself as close to his partner as he could, arms wrapped around him tightly, wondering if there was any space between them at all. And Dean was grunting as well, similar tenor despite his deep voice as he pressed his face into Cas’ shoulder. His wings fluttered loudly and then there was silence marked by their climax, sans the loud huffing of their breaths.

            They stayed flush to one another, side by side until Dean pulled him on top, instinctively Cas brought his wings snug to his own back and Dean caressed and petted the quivering and quieting feathers.

            “Holy shit,” Dean murmured against Cas’ throat, he’d never been this out of breath with someone in bed. Not. Ever. “That. That was. I love you.”

            With a quick wave of his hand, listlessly so, Cas eradicated the mess and slumped farther against his human, if that were possible, “I love you too.” Cas managed a whisper, he felt as though he could hardly lift his head, leaving his cheek pressed to Dean’s heaving, sweaty chest, “I never thought…it could be that amazing.”

            Dean continued his light petting, the warmth radiating from the feathers making him sleepy, he threaded his fingers through Cas’ dark locks, lingering and massaging and then resumed the map of his wings, “Why have you never whipped these babies out, they’re beautiful, and hell do they make you feel good. No more hiding, got it? Rule swings both ways, sweetheart.”

            Cas was too satisfied to argue, in Dean’s relaxed state he was able to turn the tables, rolling onto his back and bringing the hunter with him flush to his chest. Dean started with an expected ‘hey’ but quieted down soon enough when Cas curled his wings around the both of them, a cocoon of warmth and Dean sighed heavily, green eyes closing. Dean tightened arms around his waist, lifting his head just enough to urge a kiss and then he slumped, thoroughly sated and happy.

            Cas was exhausted at this point, but it only took the slightest wisp of grace to engulf the room in darkness and fall prey to the deep, full sleeping breaths of his beloved.


	7. Take Me To Church

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More or less, John and Cas talk. This gives positive results between Cas and Dean <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so sorry this has been so long without an update!!! But CrowleysMooseAngelsSquirrel urged me to update and girrrrrl here ya go ;) Thank you ALL for the updates and kudos and bookmarks!!! I hope you guys like where this went, I'll probs write one more chapter!!! So enjoy the smut!!! The love!

“So he apologized?” Sam asked, sipping at his coffee.

            Dean nodded and shrugged, “Yeah, said he was only trying to protect me all these years, which I still call bullshit. You don’t smack your kid around to ‘protect’ them. And also, the way he thinks of Cas I…that bothers me even more. Especially given that Cas was IN the room when he called him a monster.” Dean had left the angel slumbering in their bed, sprawled out on his stomach, surprisingly, wings still out and draping over the bed. He’d carefully, reluctantly, slid out from the cocoon and the wings that he’d used as a blanket and padded into the kitchen where he found Sam. Their mom had gone straight to bed, going on about how she’d forgotten how much motels sucked and the beds equally so. So here he and his little brother sat, once more discussing their father.

            “Fuck, that’s harsh, is Cas okay?”

            “Yeah, I think so, took a lot of convincing.” Dean tried not to let the blush creep up his neck.

            If Sam noticed he didn’t say anything, “Dad’s never been good with words, I gotta say, you’ve definitely inherited that.”

            “Cram it,” Dean snapped with a glare.

            “Enough said,” Sam smirked and he almost spat out his coffee when the shuffling noise in the hall made it to the bunker’s kitchen. And there was Cas, hair everywhere, feet bare, wrinkled t-shirt and pajama bottoms. And wings. Wings?! Jet black wings, the tips dragging on the floor as he made his way to the table, yawning widely, “Cas?”

            “Hello Sam,” Cas replied automatically, voice wrecked and graveled thicker than usual. His eyes were blinking blurry like, a soft sleepy smile on his face when he made eye contact with Dean.

            “Don’t freak out Sammy,” Dean spoke low for Cas’ sake and then he knew he’d alerted Cas to his current state, he’d been so sleepy he hadn’t even seemed to realize he hadn’t put the appendages away. His wings tucked back tightly to his back in a defensive stance, was all Dean could figure, “Whoa, whoa, Cas it’s okay, you’re okay.”

            “S-Sam I’m sorry, I hadn’t realized that you were awake. I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Cas stammered, backing up out of instinct and then tripping on his own wings, flustered as he was, he slipped and fell to the floor.

            “Cas!” Dean rushed up from his chair, hurrying to Cas’ side, “Are you alright?!”

            “Ow, yes,” Cas groused, leaning into Dean’s touch, “I think I bent a feather.”

            “Here, let me see,” Dean urged him forward, “I got it,” he straightened out the plumage, smoothing it down with is palm, and helped Cas up from the floor.

            “Sorry about that,” Cas said again, rubbing at the back of his neck, his face flushed.  
            “Cas, don’t apologize, they’re awesome!” Sam answered, a smile across his face now, “What made you all of a sudden…” he gestured with his hands.

            “Um, something your Father said yesterday and uh, well, Dean and I talked…” the angel continued to stutter, face blazing red now.

            “Damnitt,” he glared, delivering his best bitch face at Dean who was only grinning like an idiot, “It WOULD be a sex thing with you! Ugh, gross, guys! I’m going for a run, jerk.”

            “You’re just upset cause you’re not getting any, bitch!” he hollered towards his fast retreating brother and then Dean busted out laughing, “Oh, oh that was great, I haven’t been able to embarrass him like that in forever.”

            “I’m sorry Dean, I must have forgotten…I don’t show my wings very often. I found it cathartic to have them unbound.”

            Dean shook his head and pulled Cas into his arms, “That’s great Cas. You have’em out as much or less as you feel comfortable. And because you forgot? Just means you slept good and you feel comfortable around me enough. I love that.” that garnered Dean a big, dopey, sleepy smile. Dean pressed lips to the corner of his jaw, “You hungry?”

            “You don’t have to fix me anything.”

            Dean’s smile widened, taking a chance and combing his fingers carefully through the feathers, “I want to, have a seat.” he kissed his nose.

            Cas huffed a sigh of relief and did as told, “What are we doing today?”

            “Being lazy, anything you want. There’s something I wanna show you later. But first, food.”

            “What is it?” Cas asked, brow wrinkled.

            “It’s a surprise,” Dean winked, and went about to cooking eggs and bacon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            “What is this surprise?” Cas continued to question, wings hidden away at this point as Dean led him by one hand outside of the bunker, around back where the building got somewhat taller, and met the woods. The sun was a startling color of blue with dots of wispy clouds here and there. The area Dean led him to was full sun and part shade towards the end of the property. Cas observed a wheel burrow, large sacks of something he wasn’t sure of and an array of tools coupled with boxes of flowers. Flowers? “What is it?”

            “A garden plot Cas, just for you. I thought you’d like to get some things growing. Get those bees you love so much to show up. I know you’ve got this crazy love for nature and even more so when stuff grows, so, Sam and I cleared this area out. He said the sun is perfect for all these different plants. We got you seeds and pre-packaged plants…” he didn’t finish and was enveloped in Cas’ embrace, “You like it?”  
            “Very much Dean, thank you,” Cas spoke muffled against the warm crook of Dean’s neck.

            “Well, this is your home and you get a piece of it all to yourself,” Dean pressed a kiss to the side of Cas’ head, “How about you get started? It’s real nice out today. I’m gonna set up this hammock and watch you work.”

            Cas only smiled which in turn made Dean smile. So from there Cas stripped off his flannel shirt got to work while Dean swung in the hammock, eyes already starting to droop.

~~~~~~

            An hour passed and Dean had fallen asleep in the warm sunshine the hammock long past swinging. Cas wiped the sweat away from his brow with the back of his hand. He’d gotten nearly all of the Marigolds in the ground, and was now working on the Pansies that were the most beautiful color of gold and purple. The low hum of the cicadas was comforting and the oh so subtle chirp of crickets. Of all things he thought he would find enjoyable, earth beneath his nails and caking his skin he didn’t think would be one of those things. But it was so rich and smelled so nice.

            Perhaps that was why the person approaching could do so without the angel looking up. In less than a second though, with a crunching of twigs, Cas snapped his head to attention and came face to face with John Winchester.

            “Not here to do anything,” John answered quickly, hands out, “I just,” he glanced over at Dean who was still asleep, “I wanted to talk to you.”

            “Me? Why?” Cas asked, brow furrowing darkly, he brushed off his hands and got to his feet, his eyes darting to Dean as well, “What do you want?”

            “Just to talk. I promise,” John said again.

            And only because the man’s eyes were narrowed in a concerned way, features soft and non-confrontational did he agree. John motioned them to the picnic table that was not too far from Dean’s slumbering form. Cas kept his distance, leery as always, but found himself sitting opposite of Dean’s father, “What is it that you want to talk about? You made your opinion of me very clear yesterday.”

            John sighed slowly, softly, somewhat defeated, “I know, and that was wrong. I know Dean’s not an idiot. If you’d been a threat or, any of the things I said, he wouldn’t be with you. “

            “You do know that he would be with me even if I were in a different vessel, even if I were a woman instead? We are connected on a spiritual level, something you could scarcely understand.” Cas kept his voice low for Dean’s sake.

            “You’d be wrong. I do understand. Mary means everything to me, I get it. Dean’s always been trying to find someone to connect with and his little brother doesn’t count. That’s an entirely different kind of love. I get that too.” John exhaled roughly, scrubbing his face with both hands, “Bottom line? I see it. I get it, you two love each other. I ain’t ever seen Dean look at anyone like he looks at you, and angel or not, he needs you. I’ve…it’s no excuse, but I’ve always been so dead set on making sure nothing else gets to my family, I didn’t stop to think what else I was keeping from them. I never gave either one of them a chance to find their ‘Mary’. I fucked up. I get that and I sure as hell ain’t gonna say it’ll be okay with a few nice words. But we’ve got a second chance here and I wanna make it right.”

            Cas wetted his lips, eyes narrowed and without the humans’ knowledge getting a read on his soul, merely brushing his mind and searching for deceit, “Dean would be happy to hear this…”

            “And you? What about you?”

            “What about me?”

            “I need you to understand me as well, you’re a big part of my son’s life and I need YOU to understand too.”

            Many things about humans confused Cas, and this was one of them, “I am…confused.” he admitted.

            John took a deep breath, folding and unfolding his hands on the picnic table, “Castiel, Dean loves you, right?”

            “Yes, I do believe he does,”

            “Well, if you were to become family, if you two…were to marry, I’d be your father-in-law, and as much as that is a hard thing to accept right now, I want us on good terms. Not just Dean but you and I as well. Do you get that?”

            Slowly Cas nodded, eyes dropping slightly, “I know you do not approve, that I perceive clearly.”

            “Cas,” John tried for the shorter version, “It’s not you, not really I mean, it’s just the idea of Dean having someone he could lose. As fucked up as that is, it’s the reason that I was so against…everything that Dean might love. And I’m sorry about that, but I decided something yesterday. Well, more like the day we had all this go down…”

            “You mean when you struck Dean? Because that will happen no longer…” Cas started.

            “Yeah Cas, that day, that’s what I mean,” John halted anymore words, “That won’t happen anymore. Are you serious about my son?”

            “Of course I am, what do you mean?”

            “I mean, are you here for the long run, forever and all that jazz,” John eyed him carefully.

            Cas felt his eyes burn, “I have been to hell and back for your son, so yes, our time on earth will be as long as I can make it. He is my everything, I love him.”

            “Right,” John nodded, “Right…” he looked away.

            Cas opened his mouth to speak when John set something on the worn table, it was a ring, “I don’t know when ya’ll will get hitched, or if you will, but if you give this to him he’ll know that your serious. That I’m serious about, you two…”

            “What is it?” Cas asked innocently.

            “It was my Grandfather’s ring…only thing my Dad left behind when he split…or time traveled…whatever…I want you two to have it. I want you to give it to Dean and then I’ll know that you two are serious. If he gives that back to you, and you take it…I’ll know for sure that you won’t hurt him.”

            “I never planned on hurting your son, John,” Cas finally addressed him, “We’ve been through too much…I only want peace now…happiness, and I will do everything in my power to make him happy.” once more he glanced at the slumbering man, “It is my goal at this time in my existence.”

            “Okay then,” John nodded, “I’m glad we had this talk, so take it, would you? Makes sure he gets it.”

            “Of course,” Cas answered quietly.

            “I’ll be back around, but I think I need to be scarce for a while, his Mom won’t even look at me.”

            “She would if you talked to her, about this, she would,” Cas interrupted.

            “You think?”

            “Mary is much like your sons, she loves you, if you are willing to work with this, all of this, she will welcome you back.”

            There was the slightest of smirks on John’s face, one Cas couldn’t quite read, but when he chuckled softly and lowered his head as Dean was wont to do he knew they’d made a break through, “I’ll see you around Cas, thanks for listening and take care of that.”  
            “Of course,” Cas replied, nodding and tucked the ring into the pocket of his worn jeans.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Dean awoke to the feel of lips on his brow and the rich smell of fresh earth surrounding him like a cloud, it permeated and hummed, lulled his senses and he inhaled sharply coming out of sleep, “Hey Sweetheart,” he was greeted with a careful kiss, he arched up into it, arms lazy and heavy from his nap as he draped them around Cas’ t-shirt clad shoulders, “You get your flowers planted?”

            “Yes, I did, would you have a look, the sun is starting to set,” Cas smirked, helping him up from the hammock.

            “Wow, you did get a lot of work done, it looks great. We could totally girly it up out here, add a gazebo and all that shit.”

            Cas laughed and shook his head, “I could never see you installing a gazebo.”

            “So you been working the whole time?”

            “For the most part,” Cas shrugged.

            “What else you been up to?” Dean asked, no intention behind the question as he wrapped arms around Cas’ dirty t-shirt, “Besides Martha Stewarting the backyard.”

            “Your Father stopped by while you were sleeping,” Cas let it flow as smoothly as he could.

            “What?! What did he say?! What did he do?!”

            “Dean,” Cas halted his words, taking his face in both hands, “He only came to speak to me. That’s all.”

            “What did he say?” Dean asked more steady, more firm, holding Cas carefully to him.

            “Let’s go inside, huh?” Cas replied, pulling Dean forward towards the entrance of the bunker, “Nothing bad, I promise.”

            Cas settled them in the bedroom, Dean had allowed him to clean up before they spoke, given that his hands caked and torso marred with soil.

            Dean waited impatiently on the edge of the bed as Cas showered, and as he re-entered the bedroom clad in loose clothing, clean clothes that were too big and they hung on his body, barely clinging to his hipbones that made Dean gulp, “Cas, come on will you talk to me.”

            “Your Father came to speak to me, not you,” Cas began, “He wanted to tell me that although he is having difficulty accepting our relationship, he is not going to fight it.”

            Dean shook his head, lowering his head and biting his lips, “And? What else? That doesn’t sound like Dad.”

            “He gave me this to hold onto, for you that is, something he wants you to have,” Cas pulled the ring out from his sleep pants and held it out for Dean to see, “He said it was his Grandfathers and that if I were truly serious about you and I…you would share it with me.” he stuttered to a stop, “I do not wish to frighten you Dean. I will not act on something just at the words of your Father.”

            “My dad asked you to give this to me…because he wants me to give it back like…a promise ring? An engagement ring? What?”

            “I’m not sure, all of those things? But you and I do not need a ring to represent our bond, we already have that and more,” Cas inhaled carefully and leaned into Dean’s space, “I know things like this scare you, quite frankly, I thought saying ‘I love you’ would frighten you enough…”

            “You’d be wrong,” Dean interrupted, “Cas…you’d be wrong. I’m not running away from this shit anymore. I’m not doing it,” he stood up from his perch on the bed, cradling Cas’ face, thumbs grazing his sharp jaw, “I’m not bullshitting anymore, cause knowing us we never know when the next end of the world will be.”

            “What are you saying?” Cas asked, eyes wide, “A-Are you saying…are you asking me?”

            “To always be with me? Whatever that might entail? Yeah, I’m with you, always Cas, if you’re with me,” Dean couldn’t believe the words actually left his mouth, even though fear was churning in his gut alongside with disbelief. His dad had initiated this conversation between his boyfriend, lover, whatever, “I don’t care what that is, as long as you don’t go anywhere.”

            “I’ll never leave Dean, never again, not for heaven, not for anything. I only want you, only you,” Cas was sure he was breathing heavily, eyes blown wide with this sudden acceptance and then he was surging forward and joining their lips, nearly knocking Dean back to the bed.

            “So what’s this mean?” Dean chuckled between kisses.

            “We have already said this Dean,” Cas pressed him to the bed, hovering above him, eyes casting over his face as if to memorize every line, every freckle, the rounded nature of his lips, the soft lashes that adorned his eyes, “I’m yours and you are mine. This is merely a formality.” he pinned Dean’s arms above his head, “More importantly, tonight you are mine.” and he silenced the human from further speaking with a firm and exploring kiss.

            Dean moaned loudly with that utterance, reciprocating the kiss and groaned shamelessly when Cas rolled his hips perfectly along Dean’s pelvis, “Cas, Cas, fuck,”

            “What do you want from me Dean? What is it that you need?” Cas nipped at the exposed, pale expanse of Dean’s throat, lapping at his pulse point, undulating his hips against Dean’s hardened arousal.

            “You, I need you,” Dean rasped, gulped and panted.

            Cas kissed him deeply, running his tongue slowly over his bottom lip, before dipping inside and tangling their tongues together before sucking the breath out of his human, “Dean…” at this point lust seeping from his voice like venom.

            “I want you Cas. I want you inside me. I need this please. I-I’ve never asked anyone to…ya know…” Dean hated that it came out as a whimper. He’d never bottomed for someone, but he wanted it from Cas. Only Cas.

            “We take this very slowly,” Cas murmured against the tender flesh of his ear, “And if you want me to stop we stop, understood?”

            Dean nodded, throat working convulsively, “Y-Yes, just come on,” he rolled his hips upward drawing a gasp from the angel.

            “We are not rushing this,” Cas reminded him, working the t-shirt off of Dean’s torso, revealing the freckled flesh he adored so much, “I will have you begging, breathless, boneless, understood?”

            And then Dean did whimper, there was no denying, his dick twitched with the authoritive words delivered in that sexy, deep voice. He’d never given up power with a partner, never handed over complete control. Not once, so despite the fact that his heart was racing like mad in both nervousness and anticipation, there was no real concrete fear, “Cas…”

            “Shhh,” Cas feathered kisses along Dean’s now exposed collarbone, leaving behind nips in between kisses as he worked his way to his nipples that were already perk, dusty pink and perfect. Cas took one in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip, his free hand working Dean’s button and zipper free on his pants, once he had them loose he slipped said hand past the band of his boxers and teased Dean’s vibrating length.

            “Cas! Fuck!” Dean pumped his hips without thought and then he whined when Cas moved his hand up and down so lightly it was almost as if he were deliberately teasing him, a tentative, tickling touch that left him wonting.

            Cas covered his mouth kissing him wordless once more, “Hips, up,” he instructed and then shimmied Dean’s jeans away. Dean obeyed, and then he was simply in his boxers. The angel of the Lord looming above him, completely in control, “Cas…”

            Cas grazed both sets of fingers tips, achingly slow down his arms, down his chest, brushing over pebbled nipples that he knew needed more focus. He bent at the waist and switched from the right nipple to the left, and the flesh was riddled with goosebumps and sensitive as he worked it with slow circles with his tongue, swirling again and again faster with each turn. As he did this he worked one hand down, down, cupping the globes of Dean’s ass, kneading the flesh there as if asking permission. He glided one finger experimentally across his entrance that garnered Cas a gasp and a jerk, “Relax, I won’t hurt you.”

            Dean swallowed and it stuck in his throat, which made a kind of wet pop, “I-I know…”

            “You’re nervous, there is no shame in that, but I will stop. You need only ask.” he conjured lube and Dean was slick with a small gasp, but he didn’t question it. He occupied Dean with kissing him thoughtfully, the soft smacking of their lips filling the room. He circled his rim hesitantly before questing the entrance with one finger. Dean grunted, but kept kissing with fervor, with a second finger he was rutting backwards shamelessly.

            Dean had had fingers in his ass, that he’d done, but he hadn’t gone for the gold. And even as he was questioning now and then as Cas worked him open, working slowly but carefully towards that spot he couldn’t deny that this felt good. Perfect. Awesome. What he had always wanted but was too afraid to experience. And just as the thoughts began to swirl violently, Cas brushed his prostate and Dean nearly screamed but managed a strangled, “Cas!”

            Cas was smiling, despite his initial worry, but now that he had the human writhing, squirming and begging beneath him, he felt confident. He didn’t let up until he was sure Dean was edging towards an orgasm, “Dean, my Dean,” Cas kissed his throat and gently nipped his ear lobe.

            “Cas,” Dean cried, “Please, I-I won’t last…”

            Trying his best not to cause discomfort, Cas removed his fingers, and pulled Dean’s legs up, “You are looking at me as we do this,” Cas murmured soothingly.

            Dean nodded, eyes burning and aching with need.

            Cas lined himself up, and kissed Dean once more with fever, massaging Dean’s thighs comfortingly before easing himself inside of the hunter. Dean shuddered and was shaking more than Cas liked, “Breathe Dean, breathe, breathe with me,” when he was fully seated he waited, still leaving kisses across every bit of flesh he could touch and tracing fingertips over every freckle he could remember.

            “Cas move,” Dean grimaced in both pain and pleasure, “I need you to move, now, please.”  

            As carefully as he’d done anything Cas did as told and rocked his hips ever so slightly and Dean keened loudly. He wasn’t sure at the moment if it were pain but he searched for that spot once more with the help of his grace, quickly he found it and then brushed it over and over with firm, gentle strokes.

            Dean cried out loudly and the sound echoed off the walls of their bedroom. Cas had a mind to soundproof the room as soon as they initiated this act and now he was glad he had. Dean was coming so beautifully undone before him, all inhibitions down, walls broken away, raw and naked passion displayed before him. Dean’s head was thrown back, plump pink mouth parted with panting breaths, green eyes pinched shut and back arched. Cas took advantage by painting an endless need of kisses over Dean’s bare chest, in his lustful state every freckle seemed to stand out like some unknown beautiful constellation. He felt his own orgasm cresting on the surface of all this sensation, he reached between them and took Dean in his hand.

            Dean squeaked, high pitched and quite the opposite of his usual tenor, and all he could managed was a mindless string of ‘Ah, ah, ah’ every inch of his skin was nerve lit and if there were ever a word to describe his current state it was HIGH.

            Cas circled the head of his penis that was pulsing, expertly with his thumb, the way he knew drove Dean mad, even more so when he thumbed the slit. Dean nearly screamed, “Cas, Cas, please! Ah please!” Cas answered such a request with further working his prostate, and then Dean was coming hard and fast, spilling, bursting between them, and Cas soon after. Sensations washed over his vessel, drenching and controlling every nerve and once they’d finally achieved full completion Cas knew it was imperative that he pull out. Over stimulation was worse than a sting, and as he nearly collapsed atop Dean, he kissed Dean’s sweaty forehead before pulling out as carefully as he could.

            Cas tracked how Dean swallowed painfully, throat working against the rawness and dryness there from pleading and damn near screaming. They laid there in silence for several long seconds, Cas had not stopped his touching, his kisses, and it was with those actions that he noticed the tears, “Dean…” he kisses his cheeks carefully, “Dean why…”

            But Dean said nothing, and curled against Cas, wrapping his arms around the angel, burying his face in the crook of Cas’ neck. Cas’ eyes went wide, worry turned to terror as he heard Dean began to cry, openly, be it softly, but prominent enough to cause alarm, “Sorry,” Dean hiccupped, against the warm flesh he was pressed to.

            “Why are you sorry?” Cas began, wanting to ask ‘why he was crying’ but then he knew. For the first time in Dean’s life, he’d let go, he’d given himself fully to someone. A man, no less. It had probably been the most liberating thing he’d ever done, “You’re alright,” Cas soothed, pulling the man closer, threading fingers through his damp hair, “I love you, so much.”

            Dean sobbed messily, “I love you too, fuck, this is ridiculous, I’m so sorry.”

            “Shhh,” Cas shook his head, he took a chance by asking, “Will you look at me?”

            Even more shockingly so Dean rose his head, face wet and leaking.

            Cas smiled, and kissed him on the mouth, lingering there for a few moments, “You are beautiful, and I love you. Don’t be sorry.”

            Dean forced a watery laugh, “You sure you wanna be with me forever?”

            However, Cas did not laugh, “There was never a doubt in my mind Dean Winchester,” with a wave of his hand the mess was gone, he pulled Dean closer to him. Stroking both hands over his back, up and down, over and over. All the while pressing kisses into his mussed hair.

            Once more they laid in silence. Cas allowed Dean to gather himself. Once he was sure the tears had stopped, he thought for a moment that Dean might have fallen asleep, but then Dean was pushing up from Cas’ chest. For one horrifying moment he thought that Dean was moving away to leave, but then he was only leaning sideways to retrieve the ring from the side table.

            “So you mean it huh? You’d wear this? Let everyone know you’re mine?”

            Cas’ eyes were wide, wet, impossibly wide and wet, “You know I would…”

            “Well, Castiel, it’s been too damn long for me to get my ass in gear, but would you marry me?” Dean laughed shakily.

            “Of course I would, yes, yes I would,” Cas couldn’t help now that his own eyes were burning fiercely and then the tears were pouring down his face without shame. He knew for sure when Dean was brushing them away with sure fingertips.

            “We’re practically married anyway right?” Dean shook his head and grasped Cas’ chin in one hand, kissing him tenderly.

            Cas breathed easy, allowing his wings to manifest and drape around them both, “I do believe we have been since I rose you from hell,” Cas trembled.

            Just like before Dean had a hard time finding his breath with the presence of the dark, velvety feathers. He reached up a hand and stroked both hands through the plumage, “Yeah, but don’t you think a ring is better than a hand print?” Dean gave a wink and leaned in for another kiss.

            Cas managed another unstable chuckle that mimicked a cry and pulled his human close, and for a moment they were as one and nothing else in the universe, the cosmos, heaven, hell, earth, nothing mattered. Only the two of them, as he curled his wings around them both, bound together in ways that surpassed the use of words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh PLEASE review I worked like five hours on this baby <3


	8. Till The Day I Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas say I do!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helllllooooo beautiful readers, here be the FINAL chapter! It is fluff, smut, and beauty! I hope ya'll like! Thank you all for the reviews, kudos, and bookmarks. I hope you like this final chapter I think it sums up stuff nicely without going overboard. Thank you for ALL your support :) Enjoy! And leave a review! I edited as best I could but probs will fix again :)

            Dean rolled over in his sleep and was aptly met with a face full of feathers, Cas was out, as in really, really out. He wasn’t sure why though, but when Cas was relaxed enough, this he knew, he turned off the batteries. Turned off for a few hours that gave him peace. Maybe it was their love making from the night before, not only physically taxing but emotionally as well. Cas was draped over him, wings loose and hanging off the bed, every now and again they’d twitch and he’d give a sleepy moan.

            Dean grinned widely and kissed the appendages currently draped closest to his face, that garnered him another groan, “Hey, sunshine,” he chuckled, peppering kisses into the shorter feathers.

            “Mmph, Dean,” Cas grumbled, “Don’t.”

            “Why not?” Dean continued with light, silky kisses and he could feel, no see, the goosebumps riddle over Cas’ flesh, from his scalp to his toes, it was like a ripple, “Oh, sweetheart, you gave yourself away,” he started with light scratches and Cas snorted, eyes still not open as he snuggled further against Dean’s naked chest, “Yeah, sorry, gonna have to do it.” he dug both sets of fingertips into the short fluffy parts of Cas’ wings, the parts that garnered mere goosebumps and Cas squawked, flailing backwards but Dean caught him, which only gave him more advantage. Dean didn’t torture for long, only long enough to garner a few well-placed giggles. Of which he marveled at. Cas’ laughter was a rarity and something to be cherished.

            “Is that anyway to treat your future husband?” Cas asked in a huff.

            “Why on earth did you expect any less?” Dean queried with a wink, “You’re all mine now sweetheart.”

            “Dean Winchester, I will punish you for that, you’re all mine as well, remember that,” Cas growled, sleep still thick behind his lids, “You know I rarely sleep. I make an exception and you take advantage,” he found his eyes closing once more, but it wasn’t long when Dean was nipping at his bottom lip.

            “Hey,” Dean murmured, kissing his cheek, “How about breakfast?”

            “Mhmm,” Cas sighed, “I get what I want, correct?”

            “Yeah, baby, anything,” Dean snorted, “Come on, how about a shower?”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

            “So Cas, all out with the wings huh?” Sam commented when the couple entered the kitchen.

            “Only if you’re comfortable with it,” Cas added, frown adorning his mouth.

            And then Sam was frowning too, “No Cas! Of course I’m cool with it, it’s okay, this is who you are I want you to feel comfortable,” Sam explained quickly.

            “So, Sammy, you’re….good on the wings,” Dean started.

            “Of course I am! I just said…” Sam rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Cas, you be yourself, this is your home, got it?”

            Cas nodded.

            “You’re acting weird,” Sam pointed at Dean, “What’s going on?”

            Dean shuffled nervously, eyes on Cas, “So uh, Cas and I, we’re gonna…well we decided, we’re getting hitched.”

            Sam nearly spat out his coffee, nearly did since it was dribbling down his chin, “What?!”

            “Yeah,” he grabbed Cas’ hand and held it out right, “Ring and all, doing this thing right.”

            “Wait, where’d you get the ring?” Sam began.

            Dean bit at his lips, clenched his jaw, “Dad, believe it or not, gave it to Cas for me to give to him…if we were serious. I told him that fuck yeah we were, more than serious, I don’t want Cas going anywhere. I want him here with me.”

            “Are you kidding me?!” Sam sputtered, “He’s okay with this now?”

            “I-I think so, or kind of, I don’t know,” Dean stammered, “I just know….it doesn’t matter, what he thinks or what anyone thinks. I love Cas, he loves me, we’re in it for the win.”

            “I’m really happy for you guys, you have no idea,” Sammy said, head shaking as he pulled Dean into a hug, “Happy for you that you finally got your head out of your ass.” and as predicted Cas was quick to say something but Sam gathered him into a hug as well, “Brother in law, awesome. And you _are_ like a brother Cas, you are.”

            “Jesus, Sam, don’t squeeze the stuffing out of ‘em,” Dean groused.

            “No stuffing will be squeezed,” Cas replied, hugging Sam just as tight, “I welcome you as my brother as well. And like you said, I have seen you as such for a long time.”

            “You always have been Cas, a brother, family,” Sam answered quickly, he relinquished his hold, all smiled and patted Cas’ face.

            “What’s going on?” Mary’s voice broke the conversation, “There better be coffee…whoa,” her eyes were wide at the sight of Cas’ wings.

            “Angel, Mom, remember?” Dean chuckled

            “Wings not a shock enough? Cas and Dean are engaged,” Sam was quick to retort.

            “What?! You’re kidding me!” Mary near squealed almost knocking Dean over, “So I can’t be in on this?! When?! How?!”

            “Well,” Cas began, but Mary was in his space too, wrapping her arms around him.

            “Who asked?!”

            “Dean did, actually,” Cas started, “But your husband, he um, he gave me the ring to give to Dean…said if we were serious Dean would give it back.”

            Mary went stock still, “What ring?” and she was grabbing Cas’ hand, and she went silent for a moment studying the engraving, “This was Henry’s father’s ring…he really gave this to you?”

            “Yes ma’am,” Cas said, clearing his throat, “Are you displeased…” he started but was suffocated with another hug.

            “Castiel, no, I’m not ‘displeased’, Jesus, you two,” there were tears in her voice, “I’m so happy for you two, you have a plan on when you’re gonna ya know, do it?”

            “Not really, haven’t thought about it,” Dean started.

            “If I know Dean, and I do,” Cas side glanced his human, “It will be simple, I want us to be together. That is all I ask.”

            “Courthouse?” Sam offered, waggling his eyebrows.

           

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Dean sipped, no, he chugged his beer, and then was already asking for another. He’d actively asked his Dad to meet him here. He was 15 minutes early and already working on getting drunk. He sputtered and choked when he noticed John enter the bar.

            “You okay there son?” John asked, patting him on the back.

            “Wrong tube,” Dean coughed.

            “So this must be important, or you wouldn’t have actually met with me…alone…” John sighed, getting the bartenders attention and ordering a scotch.

            “So about the other day, you giving Cas that ring?” Dean started, clearing his throat and taking another swig.

            “And?” John countered.

            “So I gave it to him, he said yes, and we’re getting married. Thursday actually….at the local courthouse,” Dean coughed the remainder of the beer lodged in his throat, that and nerves.

            “I was hoping he’d take my advice,” John took the glass from the bartender, swirling the ice in the glass, “Is he good to you? Takes care of you? Like…well like Mom does for me…or did…?”

            “Yeah Dad, he does,” Dean took a deep breath but it came out more like a shudder, “I-I know you don’t like it…I know you’re getting used to it or whatever….but I love him…I love him Dad…have for a long time and I can’t…” he shrugged, eyes burning, “I can’t live without him…you were right on one thing, he’s my ‘Mary’, he makes me a better person and I ain’t lettin’ that go.”

            John sighed resolutely, knocking back the amber liquid, “I don’t want you to Dean, not anymore. Be happy, don’t turn out like me,” he stood up from the barstool, patted Dean on the cheek, “Take care of yourself, okay? Take care of each other. I’ll keep in touch.”

            “Dad…” Dean started but he was already out the door. He knew that was all he was going to get. He knew things wouldn’t be okay right now. But for now? It was enough. Even if his eyes were burning fiercely, it was enough.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            The ceremony was simple, and Dean tried to ignore the stupid grinning face of his brother, tried not to cry at the tearing eyes of his mother. Because it was a cut and dry ‘do you take Castiel to be your wedded husband (they made up some religious reason that Cas didn’t have a last name)’ and do you Dean Winchester take Castiel to be your wedded husband. Dean would deny to the death that he teared up, peering into impossibly blue eyes, he would deny that it had been difficult to say the words out loud. But they were, not for bad reasons, but for resolute reasons. That he finally felt comfortable, safe, and relaxed in his own skin, his own freaking sexuality. And he also managed not to glare too much when the two kissed and his Mom and brother whooped and hollered. What did, in fact floor him, was catching the form of John Winchester out of the corner of his eye at the door of the Judges’ room. A smile on his face, and as soon as they said their ‘I do’s’ he was gone. So when Dean finally did start crying, even unbeknownst to himself, Cas was in utter confusion.

            “Dean, beloved,” Cas whispered, “Are you alright?”

            “Yeah, Cas,” he took his face in both hand and kissed him deeply until Cas made that delicious whimpering sound, “I’m so good right now, you have no idea.”

            Cas gave a soft chuckle, “Is that all?”

            “I love you so much, _that’s_ all,” he whispered back, gathering Cas up into his arms.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            The new family had celebrated with champagne and pie, of course. The new couple held out as much as they could before both Sam and Mary had rolled their eyes dramatically and said they were out for the night.

            Dean wasted no time and scooped Cas up into his arms, “Well sweetheart, you’re officially a Winchester, how’s it feel?” he asked, carrying him into the bedroom and kicking the door shut.

            “Amazing,” Cas breathed, as Dean captured his lips, their teeth and tongues clashing, “We’re together, always, forever.”

            “Forever baby, always,” Dean answered, for a moment he only cradled Cas’ face in his hands, thumbs caressing his cheeks bones, studying as he halted their kissing, he urged him back to the bed, “Always, never leave me.”

            For a moment Cas’ brow furrowed in worry, and when he noticed Deans’ eyes brimming with tears he covered Dean’s hands with his own, “Never Dean, I’m here, with you, forever.”

            Dean leaned in carefully, gently and with a feather-like touch he brushed Cas’ lips, and then kissed. He pulled away and executed the same gentle movement to the angel’s cheeks, his forehead and moved down his throat. At this point he was pushing him back to the mattress, capturing their mouths once more. He took his time, sucking Cas tongue, licking the roof of his mouth, nipping the top lip before working the bottom between his teeth before sneaking out more tongue to soothe.

            Cas held him close, chest to chest, their heartbeats working in tandem, everything felt like slow motion. They shed each other’s clothes, quietly and reverently, and soon it was nothing but naked flesh against naked flesh. Without asking, only knowing, Cas lubed up his fingers and tested Dean’s entrance, when he was given no resistance he breached the rim with one, then two fingers. Dean groaned and whimpered into each kiss, still so lazy and loving, “Dean, is this okay?”

            Wordlessly Dean nodded and his breath hitched as a third finger was added, “I need you, always need you, please,” he grunted, back arching against the intrusion.

            Cas scissored until he was perfectly sure Dean was loose, all the while painting his throat and chest with kisses. Dean’s eyes were closed the entire time, beautiful pink mouth puckered and panting. Cas eased his length, slowly as he ever did anything sending grace along with the action to eradicate any discomfort, once he was fully seated he gently rocked, testing his limits. “Dean…”

            “Cas, baby, please, move!” Dean nearly screeched, arms up and around the angel, urging him closer.

            And Cas did, but not in the way Dean was asking for. He moved in a gentle wave of rocking, each time brushing his prostate and that had Dean begging. Keening. Writhing. It was only when he was nearing the semblance of sobbing did Cas take him in his hand, “Always with you beloved, always,” Cas kissed him firmly and with purpose as they rocked their bodies together.

            “Cas,” Dean sobbed, and with anybody else he would have flushed red with shame, but this was Cas. There was no shame, “Gah, please.”

            “Let go Dean, let go with me,” Cas encouraged, speeding up his thrusts, and pumping his hand with fervor in perfect rhythm, “Come with me.”

            And he did. Dean cried out as Cas drove into him one last time, the two of them reaching climax instantaneously, Cas coating the human’s insides and Dean coating the angel’s hand. and chest and belly.

            It took some time for the two of them to catch their breath, and then Cas was pulling out and healing any and all pain as he did so. The action made Dean grunt no matter how much care was given as the angel fell to his side.

            Cas panted and rested his face in the crook of Dean’s neck, “I love you, I love you, I love you…”

            “I love you too angel,” Dean chuckled, voice spent and exhausted, he tugged Cas closer, feigning a yawn as his post-sex sleep began to take hold. Without asking Cas mojoed the mess away, “Mr. and Mr. Winchester, I like it.”

            Cas nuzzled the place between Dean’s neck and shoulder, “I like it too.”

            Dean happily listened to their breaths as they evened, the sound of the oscillating fan filling the room, “Dad was there today…”

            Cas raised up just enough to rest his chin on Dean’s chest, “What?”

            “Dad…was at the ceremony…just in time for the vows….and he smiled,” Dean said, a smile on his own face, “I don’t know what’s gonna happen between us, but that meant something.”

            “Dean,” Cas murmured, kissing his chest with a loud smack, “That does mean something.”

            “I love you,” Dean answered, “It does mean something, but all that matters…is that you know I love you. That’s enough. That’s the only thing that will ever be enough.”

            Cas smiled, moving close once more and kissing Dean on the mouth, “It will always be enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty pretty please review!!!!


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